Jaclyn Hill Opens Up About 'Self-Medicating' With Alcohol & Prescription Drugs After Failed Lipstick Launch

Jaclyn Hill is opening up.

On Monday, the YouTube star dove deep into the aftermath of her failed Jaclyn Cosmetics debut, which included self-medicating with alcohol. As you may recall, she received severe backlash online following her lipstick launch in 2019 and has largely been in silent seclusion ever since. Now, we know why.

Getting candid about her battle with depression and anxiety over the last several months, she explained:

“I just have to say right now, I see the tweets and the comments all the time. And if we’re being totally transparent and honest with one another, yeah, filming gives me major anxiety now because I know that every single thing I do, people are, literally, going to go with a fine-toothed comb and a microscope and pick apart everything.”

She added:

“Because I just get triggered by it because I’ve gone through so many things. And I have made so many mistakes. That’s another thing, is I feel like I can’t ever talk about things openly because people are gonna be like, ‘You’re playing the victim. You’re being a victim. Jaclyn ‘Victim’ Hill.'”

Unfortunately, there was so much going on behind the scenes we didn’t see through the whole debacle. Hill continued, explaining how she began to spiral out of control:

“It was just dark and I turned to alcohol. And so, when I would start to get anxiety, I just immediately, I’m like, ‘Alright, um, I need a shot. I need a drink. I need a cocktail. Like, I need something.’ Like I just numb it instead of using Xanax or Valium or an Ativan, or whatever prescription drug, I had been using alcohol to self-medicate.”

But her excessive drinking led to changes in her weight, which only led to more comments on social media:

“On days where I would be so filled with anxiety and I would drink more than other days, I would wake up in the morning and my face would be so swollen and my eyes would be so puffy and I would just cry. So, when people tell me, ‘You’re fat. Your face is swollen. You need to stop getting fillers.’ It triggers me in a way, like, ‘Oh, my God. I wouldn’t look like this if I didn’t make such poor decisions. I wouldn’t look like this if I didn’t hurt myself by self-medicating with alcohol.'”

Ch-ch-check out the full video (below):