Move over Zola! Josh Raby has quite the story to tell!
On Sunday, the Clarksville, TN native went to his local McDonald’s drive-thru at 1 a.m. for a milkshake where he got more than he bargained for.
Related: McDonald’s Is Adding Mozzarella Sticks To The Menu!
While he never received his drink, he did meet an eccentric employee who gave Josh the craziest fast food experience he’s ever had!
And of course, the Tennessee native chronicled his bizarre journey on Twitter.
Just in case you think it’s all fake, he posted the (above) photo of his (wrong) order for proof!
To read the insane tale, ch-ch-check it out (below) !
It’s 1AM and I decided I wanted a milkshake. So there’s a McDonald’s near my house. I’m greeted at the drive thru by the following sentence:
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Hey holy shit hello, you are at McDonald’s, and I am begging your patience.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
There are no other cars here, by the way. I’m caught off guard so I mumble “Um, ok you can have it.”
The voice comes back:
“Praise you.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
So I sit for a minute, then he finally returns and says “please tell me your order”
So I say “milkshake”
I don’t know why that’s all I said
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“I’ll need a minute”, he replies. I realize I did not describe my desired milkshake in any way so I yell “I need to tell you what kind.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
He is gone for several minutes. When he returns he says flatly “we aren’t going to be able to do the milkshake. I do have many apple pies.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Do not ask me why I did this but the next words out of my mouth were
“Are you ok”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“I am not ok. Would you please tell me your order so I can try to punch it in? I will be very slow, but I will get it.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
I tell him not to worry, I am not upset, and at this point for some reason I order a chicken sandwich
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
My chicken sandwich order confuses him. Several minutes are spent repeating what I want on it, watching the screen as he tries over and over
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
At one point I guess he gave up because the screen just went black for a while.
I hear a deep exhale.
“Dude I lost my wife”.
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“I’m sorry, man, I-”
“Please describe your chicken sandwich to me again so I can succeed at one thing.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Anyway he finally gets it and then says “I really do feel bad about the milkshake situation. Can I sell you an apple pie?”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Fine. I will buy an apple pie.”
“Apple pies are cheaper than milkshakes anyway.”
“Ok, thanks”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Then there is a weird series of beeps and when his voice comes back in he is fucking SCREAMING into his headset:
“I FOUND HER! THANK GOD!”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“What? Who did you find?”
“MY WIFE. SHE WAS WATCHING ME FROM BEHIND THE BOXES!”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
At this point I have ordered a chicken sandwich I do not want and an apple pie I do not want and no milkshake and I’ve been here 22 minutes
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Can you give me my total” I say because honestly I don’t know if I want to understand his marriage or if I even could and I just want to go
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
So he says “your total is 8 HOLD ON my wife is here and she wants me to tell you she will sell you 2 apple pies at a discount”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“What is the discount?”
“2 apple pies for only 2 dollars. You should take it.”
(Note: One apple pie is $1.19)
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Give me the extra pie”
“She says thank you”
“Tell her I said no problem”
Why am I talking to his wife like this why
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
I pull around and they are fucking making out in the window and he has his thumb out like he is aware I will be driving up to this
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Both of these people are in their mid-40s
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
They unstick themselves from one another and I hand him my card “sorry about this. I haven’t worked at McDonald’s in 16 years” he says
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
I say “it’s fine” to which he says “FINE just stands for FUCKED UP, INSECURE, NEUROTIC, and ERROR-PRONE”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
His wife cackles and says “I knew that when I was 13, get with it, man!”
I have been here 37 minutes.
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
I am then treated to a story about how they met at a McDonald’s that is very short and is really only “we met at McDonald’s in 1993”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
So listen I get my card and drive ahead to the next window and THERE IS A WHOLE SEPARATE FUCKING HUMAN AT THAT WINDOW
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
He hands me my bag, leans out the window and says “you get to drive away” then promptly shuts the window and sits on a stool, head in hands
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
My chicken sandwich was wrong, by the way
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
To all the online publications asking me to confirm this dumb story I respectfully submit the following pic.twitter.com/arDMusgUwi
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
[Image via Josh Raby/Twitter.]
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