Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Ben Higgins: you KNOW the rules!
You are NOT supposed to say “I love you” to any of the girls before the end of the show, because when you do, BAD STUFF HAPPENS!!!
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Monday night on The Bachelor, Ben decided to completely forgo that little piece of life advice, and now he’s caught between a rock and a hard place thanks to getting overly zealous on Fantasy Suite dates with Lauren AND JoJo!
It all started with the third girl, though: Caila was first up for her big one-on-one, which Ben decided would be a good time to take her to Jamaica.
Jamaica me crazy? More like Jamaica me boring, are we right?!
Oh. Sorry.
Anyways, Caila dropped the L-bomb on Ben during the date, and even she realized why THE BACHELOR SHOULD NEVER SAY I LOVE YOU BACK TO A GIRL (below)!!!
“I just feel it when he looks into my eyes, when he holds me tight, when we take a deep breath together, I just know that that is where I’m supposed to be. Ben doesn’t have to say anything. I tell him I love him and I can see in his eyes. And I can feel in his breath that he feels the same.”
Except… Well, you’ll see…
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A night of sex later, a morning of TV cameras, and let’s just move on to the main events, shall we?
It all started with Lauren B. The beautiful blonde and Ben went off to play with baby turtles in a super cute date that was also apparently an aphrodisiac.
From it, Lauren accepted the Fantasy Suite invitation, and she and Ben (probably) got it on.
It’s what happened before the gettin’ it on that was so major, though: when Lauren said “I love you” to Ben, the fool said it back!!! And then he said it again. And… again.
He said it like 27 times.
So does that mean the show is over? Like… he couldn’t possibly say it to two women in the same episode… could he???
Well…
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Ladies and gentlemen, JoJo is a nice girl from Dallas. Sure, her family’s a little cray, but her and Ben obviously have a thing together.
And that’s why, when on Ben’s third Fantasy Suite date of the episode, he ALSO TOLD JOJO HE LOVED HER!!!
Even JoJo couldn’t believe it, so she did the only thing that felt right: make out with him under a waterfall, and then go have sex in the Fantasy Suite while cameras got too close for comfort.
Bow chicka wow-wow!
Anyways, if you’re keeping score at home, the board breaks down as follows:
Caila – 0
Lauren – 1
JoJo – 1
Sex for Ben – 3
This is not good! You can’t just say “I love you” to two women in the same episode! Especially when you boink ALL of them!!
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From there, we pretty much know Caila was going to get eliminated — she did, but not before she put up quite the fight grilling Benny boy on exactly when he knew he didn’t love her (was it before the sex?!) — and we now know Lauren and JoJo are the final two.
One awkward rose ceremony later (uhhh, you both get roses?) and we’re heading off to the finals.
It’s Lauren B and JoJo, in a love fight that will last eternity…
…or just another two-hour special on ABC.
Same difference?! Ha!!!
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Of course, we won’t know the winner for two weeks: next Monday comes the Women Tell All episode, and after that the following Monday, we’ll know who Ben picks.
But he’s said “I love you” to two women. There is no way this doesn’t end badly.
What do U think?? Who will Ben choose?!
[Image via ABC.]
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