Brody Jenner and Kaitlynn Carter made waves with their kinda sorta confirmation of their open relationship on The Hills: New Beginnings.
And that was AFTER their not-quite-marriage was over!
Now another TV star is opening up like we’ve never heard about being a swinger in 2019.
Related: Jake Paul Approves Of Tana Mongeau And Noah Cyrus Hooking Up
Thomas Middleditch, best known for playing perpetually awkward tech innovator Richard Hendricks on HBO‘s Silicon Valley, gets WAY real in the new issue of Playboy admitting he and his wife of four years, Mollie Gates, are into what he calls “the lifestyle.”
He details:
“I don’t know how much I can say, because I don’t want my wife to be mad at me. Only after I got married was I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.’ To her credit, instead of saying ‘F**k you, I’m out,’ she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage.”
Whoa. How so?
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Thomas explains:
“We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows. By the way, it’s now called being ‘part of the lifestyle.’ The term swinging is old.”
Ha!
When asked if being “part of the lifestyle” was always a goal for him, he says he fully expected to live a traditional, monogamous lifestyle once he said “I do”:
“Absolutely not. I self-deprecatingly call myself a pervert, but that’s not what it is. I just like it. I’m sexual. I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away. It does for some years — enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different.’ But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it, because repression sucks.”
So how did he broach the subject with Mollie for the first time? More importantly, how do they keep their marriage strong while more-or-less stepping outside it??

Middleditch says it’s all about finding your specific boundaries — and respecting your partner’s:
“For anything sexual — whether in terms of the sex act or identity or kink — you want to know where the walls of the box are. Mollie and I have created our own rules, and compared to most of the people we’ve met who do this kind of s**t, our rules are strict. We’re not off on our own; we’re together, a unit. It’s a perpetual state of management and communication, to the point where it’s like, ‘All right, we’ve got to stop. Chill.’ I’m gas, and she’s brakes. This is actually the premise for a comedy series we’re writing together.”
Middleditch says he identifies as “pretty vanilla, probably cis-hetero” but being part of the lifestyle has really broadened his sexual horizons.
He explains:
“Even if I’ve witnessed situations that may not be for me, I want to witness them anyway. I’m of the mentality ‘We’re only here once.’ I don’t believe in reincarnation or an afterlife, any of that s**t. If I look around, I actually see a lot of s**t that makes me sad about the world. This is a positive way of connecting with people and experiencing things on a very selfish level…”
But what specifically though?
“I’ve also been to some weird parties that were very Eyes Wide Shut, from which I walked away thinking, I don’t need it, but I’m glad I saw that.”
Ha! We assume he means more of the orgy stuff and less of the, well…
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Yeah, that stuff. He clarifies:
“I’ve seen some dicks, I’ve seen some butts, I’ve seen some tits. It’s weird — I’ve totally gotten to the point where I can see a dick and just be like, “Nice hog, buddy.” [laughs] And it’s not weird. ‘Man, I’m jealous. Good stuff.'”
It’s nice he can joke as the “different speeds” as he describes can often cause irreparable harm if a couple can’t stay on the same page:
“Myself and a lot of other people who start on this journey don’t know where they’re at in it. They’re going, ‘I think I just need a thing to happen. All I know is, this particular situation is hard.’ I love my wife like I’ve never loved anyone before. With two people who feel that way about each other, how do you go down that road? It’s tough.”
He advises:
“Bring a therapist along for the ride.”
Middleditch also says you should leave your expectations at the door when it comes to these kind of swinger — sorry, lifestyle — parties.
“The perception is that you open up that door and it’s Eyes Wide Shut, which isn’t necessarily the case. You can go to that party, of course. You pay the fee, you’ll go. [laughs]”
Well, that’s ominous. He continues:
“My mantra is, How can I explore this with a 1960s, peace-and-love, full-understanding, everyone’s-connected-and-feels-good kind of way? Not every corner is explored, but you have to be patient. I battle my own needs. Sometimes I’m a ravenous little monster, and how do I calm that down?”
Not helping with the calming down? Fame, even just being “that guy from that TV show” attracts a LOT of sexual attention, sometimes more than his wife is comfortable with.

Middleditch laments:
“Personally, that’s one of the trickier elements of it all, because Mollie doesn’t get that and yet she has to witness it. I’m like, ‘Come on, what about this chick who’s obviously really into me?’ And Mollie will say, ‘Yeah, she’s into you. Where do I fit in?’ That question comes up. There’s a lot of negotiation, and adding fame sometimes makes it easier and sometimes complicates things.”
Middleditch also points out how social media can be a particularly scary environment for people trying to follow a strict set of rules:
“That’s the forever-changing landscape in our relationship, because it’s about everybody feeling safe. The internet is a possibility for meeting people, but Instagram f**ks up marriages. If your partner brings this very forward person from Instagram to you, you’ll be like, ‘Do you guys have a thing?’ Whereas if your partner bumps into someone and they start a conversation, it all happens in front of you. It’s a game of inches on a minefield to try to predict who’s going to feel safe.”
Luckily it sounds like Middleditch has his priorities in order. He says firmly
“My first concern is Mollie. Anything that happens has to be run by the queen.”
Hey, with that attitude, we can see how this could work. Though it’s still frankly a little out there for us.
What do YOU think about “the lifestyle” as he describes?? And which other celebs are involved — but too worried about public perception to open up about it?
*cough*[CELEB NAME REDACTED]*cough*
The interviewer asks if Thomas is worried he’ll be the star to become the face of “the lifestyle” after being so candid in this interview. The comedian says:
“I would be honored to be the face of something.”

He does say, however:
“I don’t give a f**k, but my wife is more private, so I have to juggle that. I don’t think I would ever be the face of a full-tilt, your-body-is-my-body lifestyle.”
Speaking of which, Thomas says he has been “having body-image issues” lately, as a 37-year-old man dealing with his body getting older:
“Not many people talk about it being okay for a guy to want to feel sexy. Typically it’s ‘Get f**king swole!’ No, I want to look in the mirror and know that I have some semblance of a jaw line and feel confident. No one really talks about the fact that guys don’t always feel that. It’s okay for boys to want to feel pretty.”
Darn right it is!
Obviously Thomas isn’t the only celeb opening up about his sex life in what Playboy are calling “The Pleasure Issue.”
Cover girl Kylie Jenner and baby daddy Travis Scott opened up to the magazine in a joint interview, saying:
SCOTT: A lot of people claim that having a baby can hurt your sex life, but I feel like that’s the opposite of our experience.
JENNER: Yeah, I feel like we’ve definitely proven that rumor to be wrong. [laughs]
SCOTT: And the way you embrace your sexuality hasn’t changed with motherhood either. Do you feel like I empower you to own your identity and sexuality as a mom?
JENNER: You remind me that motherhood and sexuality can coexist and just because you embrace your sexuality doesn’t mean you have loose morals or you’re not a good mother. You can be sexy and still be a badass mom.

What celebrity couple will be next to open up about being… well, open??
[Image via Nicky Nelson/FayesVision/WENN.]