Oh good! Just what the world needs - more children you can abandon when another two minutes in the limelight comes your way!!

Possibly the world's most despicable gutter troll/reality whore Jordan AKA Katie Price AKA Go The Fuck Away, is ready to spawn more poor things with the help her diseased vagina and latest husband, cage fighter/tranny/fellow reality whore Alex Reid.

We liked the story better that he was getting that shiz annulled ASAP!!

The Dina Lohan in training says:

"Me and Alex so want kids – well, we are trying, so let's hope, let's hope."

Yeah, Jordan. We'll all be keeping our fingers crossed and saying extra prayers tonight before bedtime!!

Bitch is also trying to deny that her Vegas quickie wedding is a complete travesty to the institution of marriage.

"The reason we got married in Vegas is because you can't get married anywhere else unless you've been divorced for a certain amount of days. There was no Elvis or – you know, it wasn't tacky at all. In fact, the pictures are absolutely gorgeous. I am in such a happy place, it's so great. You know, new year, new beginning and a new family life to start."

Yes, yes, this all sounds very sincere, Jordan, thanks for clarifying and convincing us that you're NOT a disgusting excuse for a human being.

Quick suggestion, though - maybe before you have more kids to eff for life, you could, you know, focus on the THREE you already brought into this world.

[Image via WENN.]

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Beyowulf is gonna be pissed!

It seems the divorce between Beyonce's parents was due to the fact that Matthew couldn't keep it in his pants!

According to Alexsandra Wright, she has been having a relationship with Matthew Knowles for about 18 months, resulting in the birth of their baby boy last Thursday. She even claims the two picked out the baby's name, Nixon, together.

Wright has a court day next week in order to get some money for the kiddie, but Matthew is asking for a paternity test before he hands over a cent.

Such a gentleman.

[Image via WENN.]

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Perhaps, perhaps, at least, according to her hubby!

David Arquette says he and wife Courteney Cox are considering expanding their family by adopting another child! While on The Bonnie Hunt Show today, David revealed that they were eager to expand their family, but haven't quite decided how. He explained:

"I don't know. I mean, it takes a lot for us to do it, so maybe adoption."

Adoption is a great option. Someone should tell someone else's FRIEND about that option before it's too late!

[Image via WENN.]

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Does Dannii Minogue know the footsteps she'll be following by agreeing to star in her own reality show??

(Ahem… Jordan and Peter, Nick and Jessica, Carmen and Dave!)

Minogue is allowing cameras to follow her and boyfriend Kris Smith throughout the course of her pregnancy, with a six-part show set to air on ITV2 in the UK.

And sources say Dannii will be earning a paycheck worth over $300,000 for an all-access look into her pregnant life!!

Wowsa.

We get it now!

Update: Miz Minogue has just denied the reality show rumors on her Twitter account, stating simply "Not true!"

[Image via WENN.]

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She's going to be the hottest grandma ever!!

Jenny McCarthy is thrilled for boyfriend Jim Carrey's daughter to pop out a baby in the next three weeks!

"I'm really excited. I think I'm gonna rock as a grandma. She called me up saying, 'Can I take Tylenol?' We have an awesome relationship. I consider her my daughter. Mother-in-laws can get annoying once you have a baby because they're trying to tell you how to raise your baby, and I don't like anyone telling me how to raise my baby. So I have to learn how to just stay out of it and keep my mouth shut and only give advice when needed. I think that's what makes a cool grandma – to shut up!"

We think McCarthy has the right attitude, be supportive and helpful but don't overdo it!!

Jenny also spoke about her awesome relationship with Carrey!

"It's just night and day comparison to my past relationships. I don't think I've ever liked having sex with someone more than 2 years! It gets boring. And you know it's true love when you still get butterflies with you kiss him. I think just him being my soul mate is the key to everything."

Butterflies?! ADORABLE!

We think they're fantastic together!! They're both absolutely hysterical, which must help them not take shiz too seriously!! Congratulations on making it work!!

[Image via WENN.]

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See ya, Casey Aldridge!

Jamie Lynn Spears is reportedly seeing a new OLDER man she met about a year ago named James Watson who owns a communications company in Louisiana.

James has 10 years on Jamie Lynn at 28, but a source says their relationship is going well. "They started dating last December," the source says. "I don't think James cares at all about who she is; they really seem to like each other."

James, who lives 35 miles south of Kentwood in Hammond, LA, owns Advanced Multimedia Partners, a company that installs communications equipment and hi-def TVs for large corporations.

But what about Casey, the father of 19-month-old Maddie?

"Even when she [Jamie Lynn] was pregnant, she didn't really see a future with him," says a friend close to Spears. "She only gave the impression of staying with him so long because it looked better in the eyes of the public."

Good for little Jamie-Lynn! We have to hand it to her — she's really been raising that baby out of the public eye.

We wonder what Maddie looks like these days!

[Image via Nikki Nelson / WENN.]

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Congratulations!!!

Actress Sarah Jane Morris, who starred as Balthazar Getty's wife on Brothers & Sisters before he blew it and got their characters (for the most part) written out of the show, gave birth to a baby boy on January 24th!

Morris, who is married to Rooney drummer/hottie Ned Brower, welcomed Emmet Andrew Brower after being in labor with no drugs help for 15 hours!!

Whoa!!!!!!! Girlfriend is one hardcore bitch!!

We appreciate that you wanted your baby to come into the world au naturale, but that is an intensely LONG time to pop one out!!

Brower took to facebook to alert the world of the happy new addition to their family.

"S.O.N. (Son of Ned) hath arrived. Emmett Andrew Brower weighs in at 8.2 lbs. Sarah labored for 15 hours w/NO meds…she is a total powerhouse and my hero."

We agree!! We hope she and the baby are happily recovering!!

[Image via WENN.]

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That would be one lucky baby!

The Enquirer is reporting that Anderson Cooper and his boyfriend Ben Maisani are planning to adopt a Haitian baby together!

We're not sure if we believe it, but the image of adorable Andy with a baby is just too cute to handle!

[Image via Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.]

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While Bristol Palin is busy trying to convince the world that she's a virgin and not a teen mom, her baby daddy and Alaskan douchebag Levi Johnston realized he was out of the spotlight and is attempting to claw his way back in by telling anyone who will listen about what a great dad he is!

Levi talked about the two whole days he's permitted to see his son, Tripp, and how Bristol Palin can barely stand to be around him.

"Saturday is usually the best day of the week for me. It's the day I get to see my son. I'm pumped that I get to see him twice a week. It feels pretty good. You can't dwell on what happened."

"She tells me if something's new but you know it is as far as we get. She called and told me he said 'Dad.' [We] actually got together and went into Anchorage and ate dinner, just the 3 of us and got him some ice cream. It was pretty fun. We just got to be good parents and work with each other. We keep conversation to Tripp and that's about it. She tells me if something's new but you know it is as far as we get. She called and told me he said 'Dad.' [We] actually got together and went into Anchorage and ate dinner, just the 3 of us and got him some ice cream. It was pretty fun. We just got to be good parents and work with each other. We keep conversation to Tripp and that's about it."

We doubt it's because you're feuding, Levi - you probably have nothing to say to each other because you two are too effing stupid to string sentences together for any consistent period of time.

And because even when he's talking about his child he has to bring the attention back to himself,

"I think he looks more like me. Everyone I've talked to says he looks more like me. I am trying to get him to play hockey. He's really getting close with trying to grab the stick."

That poor child doesn't have a shot in hell!

Ugh. We like him better when his mouth is closed and his clothes are off. Not that he even looks that great naked. Still and improvement, though.

We'd rather just see Bristol, him and Grandma eaten by polar bears.

[Image via WENN.]

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