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Amanda Bynes LYING About Sexual Assault From Cops, Or So Say The NYPD!

amanda bynes sexual assault claims cops denial

Amanda Bynes a liar?! NEVER! LOLz.

Although not really LOLz… cause this is just sad.

Even though Amanda adamantly tweets that she did NOTHING wrong on the night of her arrest and that the cops who entered her apartment did so illegally and sexually assaulted her by SLAPPING HER VAGINA, it seems after investigation, the NYPD has (unsurprisingly) found the retired actress' claims to be complete bullpoop.

NYC authorities said in a statement:

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Amanda Bynes arrest sexual assault false Amanda Bynes arrest sexual assault false Amanda Bynes arrest sexual assault false Amanda Bynes arrest sexual assault false Amanda Bynes arrest sexual assault false

Kim Kardashian Puts Herself & Kris Humphries On The Witness List For Divorce Case!

kim kardashian puts kris humphries on divorce trial witness list(1)

Oh man, what's gonna happen next???

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' divorce trial is set to get moving next month, but instead of having a drama-FREE case, the pregnant reality star decided to make things a little more inneresting.

According to her El Lay Superior Court filing

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Lance Armstrong Back Under Federal Investigation

Lance Armstrong

Okay, this is just getting ridiculous now. Either string him up or let him be.

Lance Armstrong is apparently at the center of a new federal criminal investigation.

Even though we just reported it seems like he's off the hook, it turns out that that might not be the case!

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Teresa Giudice Could Serve As A 'Star Witness' In Juicy Joe's Fraud Trial!

teresa joe giudice head to court(1)

Oh for the love of Giudice!

Sooner than you can say, “are you freakin’ kidding me?”, Real Housewives Of New Jersey star Juicy Joe Giudice will be heading to court!

As we previously told you, Teresa’s hubby is currently being charged with fraud for using his brother’s ID as a driver’s license, after getting his taken away for a DUI!

And, from the sound of it, Tre plans to be by her man’s side through it all!

Joe’s attorney, Miles Feinstein, stated:

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Lucy Liu Gets Creampie'd By Jimmy Fallon!!

Filed under: Silly!Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon is all about the goofiness, so we're totes not surprised that he came up with a game called Rock Paper Scissors Pie — which you can totally guess what the endgame is!

LOLz!

What we are surprised about is that Lucy Lui, lookin' fab and glam, decided she wanted to take part — even though she was only there to rep her show Elementary!

Jimmy's squeals of excitement are enough to get us laughing… but it's totally the real tension before they click the levers that gets us!

It's like Pie Russian Roulette! HA!

First slow-jamming the news, and now this?? Witness the JIM-SANITY (above) for yourself!!

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Michael Jackson's Deadly Doctor Involved In Jailhouse Scuffle!

conrad-murray-jail-fight-witness-michael-jackson-manslaughter

This dude writes more drama than Shakespeare!

Two of Conrad Murray's lawyers visited the deadly doc at the El Lay County jail yesterday when, improbably, a fight erupted between them!

Currently serving time for the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson, Conrad asked both lawyers to rush over and investigate his persisting arm and shoulder pain!

J. Michael Flanagan, the dude who defended Dr. Feelgood Feelbad in the manslaughter case, arrived at the jail first and for some reason, prohibited

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Citizen Pulls Over Drunk Cop, Locks Him In His Own Cruiser

citizen cop drunk driver arrest back vehicle crazy cray

Someone get this man a badge and a gun — in fact, you could probably just give him those of the officer he locked up for drunk driving, as he will no longer be needing them.

LOLz!

It's true. Russell George, of Prestbury, watched this cop weave in and out of traffic erratically before taking the law into his own hands.

Here's what happened according to Russell:

“He was driving towards oncoming traffic as he turned into Victoria Road. At this point I was concerned about the safety of other road users. He suddenly jammed on his brakes and came to a complete stop. I got out of my car and went towards him and I asked him if he knew what he was doing. He started his car and carried on driving."

That's when Russell called the sober cops.

“After five minutes, no one had arrived. So I jumped out of my car and I approached the driver’s side and asked him to come out. He looked at me and I could smell that he had been drinking. I asked him again, and he refused. I then grabbed his keys, pulled him out and locked him in the back of his own van.”

Amazeballs!

We're not saying everyone out there should be jumping at the chance to take down a cop, but we do think a situation like this warrants it FOR SURE. Drunk driving is unbelievably dangerous, and Russell just might have saved a life!

South African citizens are legit!! LOLz!!

[Image courtesy The Witness.]

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