A mom influencer found herself in trouble online after showing how she and her family prepare for a cross-country road trip with a child who has Angelman syndrome.
Emily and William Wallace are the parents of six kids — 12-year-old Harrison, 11-year-old Wyn, 9-year-old twins Griffin and Sawyer, 8-year-old Posey, and 7-year-old Lindy. Their son Griffin has Angelman Syndrome, which the Mayo Clinic says is a rare genetic condition that causes “delayed development, problems with speech and balance, mental disability, and, sometimes, seizures.” Emily often posts about what it is like raising a child with the condition on social media, but her recent post has sparked controversy with fans!
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On June 7, Emily posted a video to TikTok of her and William setting up a mesh divider instead of plexiglass in the backseat of the car ahead of a 10-hour family road trip to California. The social media personality explained the only way they could do the long drive is if they have a barrier separating Griffin from the rest of the kids because he “does not know how to keep his hands to himself yet, and our other kids deserve to not be grabbed and pulled and pinched the whole time.” Watch the setup (below):
@whatilovetodo Road trip hack for our son with Angelman Syndrome! ???????? He has no sense of personal space or safety boundaries, so we’re trying a dog divider in a completely different way to help keep everyone safe and comfortable on our long drive. Parenting often means getting creative and finding solutions that work for your family. Wish us luck! ???? #AngelmanSyndrome #SpecialNeedsParenting #RoadTripHack #DisabilityAwareness
That video has since gone viral, with thousands of mixed reactions in the comments section! While many applaud the parents for trying to find a solution to keep their kids safe and comfortable, others slammed them for not having one of them sit next to Griffin instead:
“So why arent you sitting next to him?”
“Or one of you guys sit in the back.”
“this is actually ridiculous and unfair to your other kids .”
“Parent should sit next to the child who needs additional support. Can’t imagine forcing the other children to ride in stress and fear of being physically harmed at any moment.”
“I understand if your other kid can’t sit up front but if not you should sit in the back sorry”
“i truly applaud you for trying to make it safer, but mom or dad need to sit in the back with him to protect him and the other kids.”
“Parents of disabled children cant ever please anyone. They’ve acknowledged the problem, are actively working on it, AND found a solution until they can get it under control and yall are.. mad??????”
Yeesh! The judgmental olympics are in full swing! We’d be willing to bet the vast majority (if not all) of these commenters have no idea what it means to parent a child with a disability. This mom’s workaround was brilliant and didn’t harm anything. So why all the hate???
Later, Emily addressed the backlash in a follow-up video! She fired back:
“First thing I wanna say is that you don’t live our life, and you’ll never know exactly how hard it is. A car seat divider is a necessity to keep my son and my other children safe. I’ve had so many comments saying one of the parents should sit in the back seat next to him. Griffin does not understand personal space. It is something he’s working on in ABA, but he really truly doesn’t understand. And he is a sensory seeker. He wants to grab. He wants to touch. He loves sensory input, and he loves it from people. If I was sitting next to Griffin in the back the whole time, he would grab me. He could pinch me. He could bite me. I would need a car seat divider because I wouldn’t be able to handle a 10-hour drive with Griffin.”
And Griffin deserves a vacation like everyone else! Emily concluded:
“We have a child with severe disabilities that truly does not understand personal space, and it is hard, and it is uncomfortable, and people don’t wanna see it. Let me tell you it’s important to see because even with this hard, Griffin deserves a vacation. He deserves a life. He deserves respect, just like you and me. And to go on a vacation for everyone to be safe and comfortable, we need a car seat divider.”
@whatilovetodo Car divider update! ???? For our family, this isn’t a luxury it’s a necessity. Griffin has Angelman Syndrome and struggles with personal space and staying safely in his own area during long drives. This car divider has made road trips safer, less stressful, and more enjoyable for everyone. Sometimes adaptive tools make all the difference. ❤️ #AngelmanSyndrome #SpecialNeedsParenting #DisabilityAwareness #RoadTripHacks #AdaptiveEquipment
Her response didn’t stop any of the criticism from fans, though! In fact, many continued to bash her, this time saying she missed the point and claiming she would rather her other children get “pinched” than her! Yeesh!
Oof! Are these commenters for real? Do they not hear themselves???
Weeks after the controversy, Emily spoke to People on Wednesday about their decision to use a divider, insisting that “it really was about keeping both my kids, myself and my son safe in a car on a 10-hour car drive.” The content creator shared that Griffin “loves hard,” which can be a lot for anyone, especially during a long road trip:
“[Kids with] Angelman Syndrome, they’re the happiest people you’ll ever meet. All they want is human connection, and he struggles with personal space… Griffin wouldn’t hurt somebody like a ton if we sat next to him, but he will grab, hold, squeeze — he wants that deep pressure. And so on a 10-hour car drive, that can be a lot for anybody. And so that is why the divider right now is very important.”
Emily recognized that “people do not like me right now,” but she has no plans of turning off the comments or even taking down the controversial videos:
“Those comments to me are important to show that people just see them as almost not real, and they are. Parents like me and my husband, like, we’re really just trying to make it, and the divider video, to me, just shows that people really just can’t understand this life, and it’s shocking and it upsets people because they just don’t wanna imagine that we’re going through something this hard.”
And while the video shows a “hard” moment, Emily said she always wants to share the realities of being a parent of a kid with Angelman syndrome since she didn’t grow up around anyone with a disability:
“I was never around anybody with severe disabilities before Griffin. And before that, if I would see somebody, it would kinda scare me a little bit. I would be nervous about it. And so that is another big reason why I do what I do: to make people with severe disabilities not scary. They’re people, they have feelings, they’re everything like you and me.”
Since posting the clip, Emily said she has heard from other parents of kids with severe disabilities who plan on using a divider on their road trips now. As for how the barrier worked out? Emily shared it was “better than anything we could have ever thought of” for the trip:
“And that’s another reason why I do what I do, is that I want to give people tips and tricks so they can do more things with their kids with severe disabilities, because a lot of us get stuck at home. A lot of us can’t go anywhere because our kids are. The world is not made for our kids. We have to make it work, and that’s what we’re doing. I wanted to show that these disabilities are not going to define our family and we’re going to find joy through the crazy hard this is. And my kids, even though they have disabilities, they deserve a quality of life, they deserve to go on vacation — they deserve it all.”
We support this mother and her family! We know she’s doing her absolute best, and no one could ever come close to understanding what they go through. This just goes to show people are still completely clueless when it comes to disability. Ugh.
What are YOUR thoughts on the controversy, Perezcious readers? Sound off in the comments (below).
[Image via Emily Wallace/TikTok]
