The only thing better than a star showing off their big peen is hearing about a star having a big peen.
Hear us out here…
Obviously we know about porn stars and Ray J and any number of guys we KNOW are large and in charge. But when you know for certain, doesn’t that kind of take the sport out of it? Rumors are fun! And no rumors are more fun than ones about big D.
The stories told through the years, the way folks who have seen it, who are in the members only club so to speak, describe it? Nothing more exciting, baby!
So get a load of these stories of celebs who are packing some serious heat!
Well, we have to admit we didn’t see this one coming!
Not only is Bill Hader proving he’s a brilliant writer and director with his acclaimed HBO series Barry, it turns out he’s endowed with more than talent!
According his most recent ex, Rachel Bilson, the SNL vet is extremely well hung! The OC star let the knowledge slip on the latest episode of her new podcast, Broad Ideas. After an insightful convo with 13 Reasons Why alum Tommy Dorfman, Rachel’s producer asked her:
“So when you and Bill broke up, what did you miss the most?”
The question was clearly tongue-in-cheek, probably poking fun at the fact the podcast has gotten by far the most press due to her rare comments about the relationship back in June. He didn’t even seem to expect an answer. But he got one! Rachel said defiantly:
“His big d**k.”
As they all laughed, she threw out that they could “keep that” in the show. No effs given!
Well. It sounds like the cartoon-faced impressionist, who has since moved on with Pitch Perfect star Anna Kendrick, is delivering more than appointment prestige TV!
Pete Davidson may be the man behind the phrase “big d**k energy” — a term for the confidence of a guy packing heat, whether you are or not — but in this case, where there’s smoke there’s fire.
When someone asked his former fiancée Ariana Grande about the length of her new song, Pete Davidson, they phrased it with an accidentally perfect setup: “how long is pete?”
Ariana couldn’t help but take the bait and tweet back:
“like 10 inches? …. oh f**k …. i mean … like a lil over a minute”
Pete has since said she was exaggerating — and that it’s ruined his life because there’s no way women can’t be disappointed after that HUGE tease. But we’re guessing he’s just displaying some Big Demure Energy.
In any case, plenty of amazing women have gone to check for themselves since, including Bridgerton‘s Phoebe Dynevor, Margaret Qualley, and of course the incomparable Kim Kardashian.
Supermodel Janice Dickinson once claimed of Liam Neeson that he had “the biggest penis of any man alive.” While we’re sure that’s hyperbolic, it still sounds from her description like the Taken star has some very special skills indeed. The America’s Next Top Model judge wrote in her memoir No Lifeguard On Duty :
“He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out. It was insane!”
An Evian bottle? Yowza!
How do we know Harry Styles has a big peen? Was it a model who kissed and told? Nope! It’s all thanks to his pal Ed Sheeran.
The Galway Girl singer outed Harry, and if he’s to be believed it’s exactly what the former One Direction member would have wanted. According to Teddy, that photo which was making the rounds a few years back, supposedly a leaked naked selfie showing a very thick 1D indeed, really was Harry! Not only that, he was the one who leaked it!
“He leaked his own picture. I think it’s amazing. He was just like, ‘No one knows, I’m just gonna tell everyone.'”
Hey, we probably would have assumed anyway, but we appreciate the advertisement!
It’s not just Travis Barker‘s laid-back personality and immense talent that has made him a hit with the ladies for years. The Blink-182 drummer had some selfies leak a few years ago, and let’s just say he has no place playing on a track called All The Small Things. We obviously wouldn’t look at such a thing ourselves, but that was the hubbub for a few days before he got all the pics taken down.
No wonder he has Kourtney Kardashian feeling like she’s a teenager again! (Meanwhile Scott Disick is just dating actual teenagers…)
We’ve been hearing about The Atom and his package since 2005! Yes, in the years before Henry Cavill, 2006’s Superman Returns featured unknown Brandon Routh as the titular Kryptonian.
While the film was seen as kind of a mess, Routh was one of the few things that was praised by most fans for what he brought to the role. Well, it turns out he brought a little too much to the role.
Even before the film came out, there was a leak about how extra CGI money was being used in post-production to cover up the Justice League member’s member. Apparently Routh’s peen bulge was so big in his blue and red tights that it was turning what was supposed to be a family film into a superhero-themed porn!
Years after the movie was a disappointment and Routh was not able to continue in more Superman films, he did get a new superhero gig, on The CW‘s Legends Of Tomorrow, in which he plays The Atom — a scientist who can shrink himself at will! LOLz, man that would have saved some money a few years back!
Actress Karrine Steffans wrote in her memoir Confessions of a Video Vixen about her hookups with quite a few rappers; she was featured in over 20 music videos and got to know quite a few — including JAY-Z. She called his junk “real thick and juicy” though she rudely said she couldn’t stand looking at him. Ouch!
But this wasn’t an uncorroborated report!
We also have the word of Nas‘ baby momma Carmen Bryan, who also wrote in her book about her relationships with various famous figures, including Allen Iverson, whom she said was of relatively average size but possessed of great strength and creativity in the bedroom.
She also infamously slept with JAY-Z — who actually wrote a verse dropping her name in a Nas diss track. Well, he opened that door, so he can’t really complain when she decided to write all about his knob.
Carmen compared his peen to various things, including a baby’s arm, the neck on a giraffe, and an elephant’s trunk. So… big. However, she also said he was boring in bed. Womp.
Wait, we’re confused… does he ever get to go to Red Lobster??
Mad Men may have been a show intended for an adult audience, but it wasn’t trying to be adult entertainment. Hilariously, that reportedly meant having to take some special steps regarding their lead’s mad manhood.
A production source spilled that Jon Hamm was required to wear special underwear while filming because in the tighter clothes of the ’60s, it was impossible NOT to see his huge hog pressing through the thin rayon. Not only that, they claimed AMC had to digitally alter photos of him for billboards — specifically in the crotch region.
Naturally after these rumors we couldn’t help but take a gander down south when we saw him in public, and sure enough even in baggier cargo pants you can often make out a distinct outline of that D.
Hamm has said the focus on his peen is “silly” and “annoying.” But that’s because, like his 30 Rock character, he’s in the bubble. He’s been looking at a big one his whole life. LOLz!
From what we hear, M should be called D instead — because Ralph Fiennes is packing heat! That’s right: Voldemort’s wand isn’t just big, it’s too big for movies! When he played the serial killer in Silence Of The Lambs prequel Red Dragon, the Oscar nominee went nude, partially to show off that sick dragon tattoo.
But something else was visible as well! According to director Brett Ratner, the editors saw his peen in the cutting room and thought it was so big it would distract from the intent of the scene! So they used CG to digitally “remove” three inches!
Sure, that could have just been Ratner talking BS, but Fiennes actually confirmed the wild story! When asked about it later, he responded:
“That’s absolutely true. Has he really told you that?”
Baby, if he didn’t, you just did!
Don’t speak… we know just what you’re thinking… by looking down.
Tony Kanal, the bassist for No Doubt — and famously bandmate Gwen Stefani‘s ex-boyfriend, is also pretty famously hung, at least according to rumors from the late 90s and early 00s. According to a blog post on Metal Sludge, which purported to have info about tons of rock musicians from groupies, the bass player is a flopping TEN INCHES! Also — a good kisser! Good to know!
Frank Sinatra may have been known for his Ol’ Blue Eyes, but another body part is still being talked about as well.
His second wife, Ava Gardner, has been quoted as saying Frank was “only 110 pounds, but 10 pounds of it is c**k” — and alternately that “10 was Frank and 100 of it was c**k.” Accounts vary. But either way, it’s a massive member we’re talking about!
And the account was backed up after his passing by his valet, who wrote in a memoir called Mr. S that Sinatra had special underwear made to keep everything unseen from the outside. Biographer James Kaplan is convinced he was shy about it because it was so massive he felt embarrassed, saying:
“He sort of hated the way that he looked for a lot of his life… and I think that, while he often boasted almost about his manhood, it was one more thing that made him different.”
Hey, sometimes different is good!
We’ve been hearing about Jared Leto‘s so-called enormity for YEARS! Most notable was the description we got from the late trans actress Alexis Arquette, who in a 2014 interview claimed to have slept with the Suicide Squad star, saying:
“I had s*x with Jared Leto back when I was presenting as a male. And, yes, it’s not only massive; it’s like a Praetorian Guard’s helmet.”
Wow. Hilariously, word has gotten around so much about Jared’s junk he actually had his lawyer send a legal notice to gossip site Lipstick Alley back in 2015 objecting to the mention of his penis size and demanding any references be removed.
But of course, this is the internet, and all that caused was a Streisand Effect in which even MORE people googled “Praetorian Guard”! LOLz!
This was an odd way to learn about Willem Dafoe‘s huge penis — especially considering the the 4-time Oscar nominee doesn’t exactly seem shy of onscreen nudity.
But it turns out the reason we haven’t seen his junk onscreen is because the one time he was going to do it, the director had to trash the footage — because he was too big to be believable! For real!
Lars Von Trier, who directed the 2009 film Anti-Christ, spoke during the press tour for the film about an apparent full frontal scene. The filmmaker revealed that it was not Dafoe’s D we were seeing but a stand-in. Von Trier said:
“…he’s extremely well-equipped. And we had to kind of take the scenes out of the film, we had a stand-in for him, we had to take the scenes out with his own d**k… because Will’s own was too big.”
The surprised interviewer jokingly asked if he meant too big to fit in the screen, but Von Trier was serious:
“No, too big because everybody got very confused when they saw it.”
A confusingly large penis? Hey, we’re happy to be perplexed anytime! LOLz!
Peen.S. There is actually a video out there on the internet of Willem dancing fully nude during an old experimental theater performance, and… yep. It’s confounding alright!
[Image via DJDM/PNP/WENN/Instar/SNL/YouTube.]