Here’s a Marvel Cinematic Universe trivia question for ya! Who is the first person Captain America saved? Answer: Chris Evans!
In a new interview on The Hollywood Reporter‘s Awards Chatter podcast, the Defending Jacob star opens up about his struggles with anxiety and “mini panic attacks” as he questioned his entire career path — right before scoring the biggest role of his life.
Related: Chris Hemsworth Talks Being ‘Suffocated’ By Too Much Work
Speaking about the origins of his anxiety, he explains:
“In the beginning you’re just kind of happy to be there, and it’s this consequence free game because you’re young and any job is a good job, and there’s no way you can frame anything as a misstep. Then all of a sudden you have… it comes into focus that you may only have so many shots at this, so may bites at the apple. All of a sudden what was one your hobby, this thing you did for nothing, this thing you did for you — you know, I would wake up on a weekend and just do scenes in my room, it was just a joy — all of a sudden becomes your job, and when it becomes your job, weird ego-ic strings become attached. And precautions and plans and all of a sudden it starts to feel a bit heavier. And yeah, anxiety comes with that.”
The negative feelings really started to arise in the aftermath of the Fantastic Four films — which helps explain why he was so reluctant to take the role of Captain America, which believe it or not was just three years after Rise Of The Silver Surfer came out! It didn’t help he was starting to feel the lashings of Internet fandom. He remembers:
“It was also during the proliferation of the Internet age where you can read people’s reactions online and all of a sudden your ego-ic story, your narrative, becomes entangled with what was once just this pure little ball of joy. And yeah, it manifested as anxiety and as stress. I’ve gotten a lot better with it, but at the time it’s hard to separate, it’s hard to know if the path you’re taking is the wrong one. Because the way I’m feeling isn’t healthy, and is this going to be cyclical, do I need to wake up and remove myself from this?”
It seems a lifetime ago, but things were not going well for Chris at the time. While his most widely seen movies like the Fantastic Four sequel were getting viciously panned by critics and audiences alike, his acclaimed movies like Sunshine were going largely unseen. As Chris himself says, at the time it felt like:
“There was a period of time where I felt like, ‘I can’t make a good movie’… and you just think, like I said earlier, I wonder how many chances I’m going to get at this.”
It was during this time that Chris lost out on some high profile roles in Gone Baby Gone, Milk, and Fracture.
It was while he was working on another unseen indie movie called Puncture that his anxiety started to manifest itself physically.
“It was the first time I kind of started having mini panic attacks on set.”
Mini panic attacks? He explains:
“You know, they’re low grade panic attacks, I’ve had a lot of discussions about this with other people, and it does sound like other people have far more crippling experiences. But they were enough to throw me a bit and enough to make me question, like I said earlier, if I was on the right path. Sometimes it takes a little bit of a nightmare to wake you up. I really started to think, ‘I’m not sure if this is the right thing for me, I’m not sure if I’m feeling as healthy as I should be feeling.'”
So that’s where Chris was when he got the call for Captain America. See, someone had seen how great he was in those little unseen indie movies: Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige. And he knew Chris would be right for the role!
But his unexpected response? To turn the role down! Why?? He was worried about making a wrong step — and having his anxiety grow exponentially! And if it didn’t turn out well, he wouldn’t exactly have anyone with whom to share the pain of starring in a major blockbuster. As he says:
“It’s one thing to kind of fall into a circumstance because you were unaware, it’s another thing to knowingly put yourself in that position. And there’s nobody else to blame. And my suffering would be my own. And that was too much to cope with at the time.”
So he actually turned them down multiple times! Even when they offered him more money!
“I spoke to a few people, I went to a few different therapists — I had never really been to therapy before — and just talked to a few different people.”
How did they change his mind? (Spoiler alert: he took the job! LOLz!)
“They said it sounded like I was making decisions based on fear, which was not untrue. And they said you can’t do that. You can’t live life that way.”
Thankfully he took the leap and the rest is cinematic history. After seven movies in eight years (plus a couple cameos), he was part of the most successful franchise of all time.
And it was a huge relief personally! Not only did he genuinely get along with everyone making the movies, they very quickly became beloved by audiences and appreciated by critics, too! As he says:
“It was the best decision I’ve ever made, and I really owe that to Kevin Feige for being persistent and helping me avoid making a giant mistake. To be honest, all the things that I was fearing never really came to fruition.”
It’s an important lesson in bravery from Captain America himself! Don’t let fear guide your decisions!
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