NO WAY!!
Last time we heard from Jason London, he was enjoying his new life as a married man and now… he’s defecating on himself in the backseat of a police cruiser!?
Ugh! The honeymoon is officially over!
According to a police report, the actor was bloodied and beaten in an Arizona bar before cops found him wandering Dazed & Confused through the streets of Scottsdale.
The Po-Po arrested him for disorderly conduct, fighting, and assault after he tried fighting off local paramedics.
That’s when he… wait for it… PURPOSELY CRAPPED HIMSELF IN THE BACKSEAT OF A CRUISER!!!
What. The. Fudge!?!
Jason allegedly spat homophobic slurs at the cops before saying:
“Guess what fa**ot? I f***ing love this. I f***ing own you guys so hard. I’m rich and I’m a motherf***ing famous actor! F***ing look me up, bitch. It smells like s**t in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea.”
And he capped off his bowel movement with:
“I told you I’m happy as s**t.”
Holy crap — sorry, we had too — who does that!?!?
For his part, Jason insists the police report is skewed and that he’s the victim of a few serious crimes.
Also, he hates Arizona.
Read his Twitter responses to the nasty allegations (below):
Guys, the TMZ report is a total fucking lie. I got jumped by three 250 pound bouncers. They knocked me out and beat me for several minutes.
—Jason London (@JasonPLondon) January 29, 2013
I would never say or do the crap they are reporting. Have faith in me. The truth will come out and you will see.
—Jason London (@JasonPLondon) January 29, 2013
Some guy thought I was hitting on his girl and had me jumped. My wife was in the next room, had no idea what even happened. I hate Arizona
—Jason London (@JasonPLondon) January 29, 2013
Wait till you see the real pictures. I have a rightorbital fracture and sinus fracture. The truth will win
—Jason London (@JasonPLondon) January 29, 2013
You’d never say or do the CRAP they’re reporting?! Poopy-pants puns are the best, LOLz!!
[Image via Jesse Hlady.]
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