More Candy To Rot Your Teeth

Oh, how we’ve missed you!

One of the most opinionated nobodies in Hollywood is back, serving up some more delicious commentary.

Candy Spelling, the plastic-surgery loving formerly estranged mother of Tori, has written this piece for the Huffington Post about none other than Britney Spears.

She gives good advice, y’all!

Says CS:

“Three Feet Closer To Tragedy

I must admit I’ve done plenty of head shaking about Britney Spears and her antics.

“Spears could feel agony of 3 feet” – the story about possible consequences of Brit’s driving over the feet of three people recently — in the November 16 Los Angeles Times has raised the head-shaking bar.

Enough. It’s time to leave this girl alone. She didn’t run over the feet of the two paparazzi or one sheriff’s deputy on purpose. I’ve seen “breaking news” of her driving on many networks, and I don’t think her aim is that good.

Following are excerpts from Times story:

“At least one incident is being investigated, in part because Spears left the scene of the accident. The Los Angeles Police Department has informed Spears that if she doesn’t provide a statement about the case involving the sheriff’s deputy, she could face misdemeanor charges for a vehicle code violation.”

A vehicle code violation?

The Times continues: “The deputy’s foot was run over this month as Spears left L.A. County Superior Court after a custody hearing involving her two children.

“There is no evidence to prove there was malicious intent on her part,” said LAPD spokesman Roger Mora. “She probably didn’t know, but you can still be looking at a misdemeanor for the fact that you left the scene.”

Is that a separate misdemeanor?

“Spears’ latest incident,” the newspaper story continues, “occurred early Thursday as Spears was leaving the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills and rolled over the foot of one of several photographers who were covering her.”

Covering her doing what? Trying to get away from all the feet chasing her?

“Beverly Hills police said Spears may not have been at fault in Thursday’s roll over. ‘There were independent witnesses there who felt the photographer didn’t move out of the way in time,’ a police spokesman said. ‘She was driving very slowly.'”

The third incident was last month when she ran over the foot of a TMZ.com photographer. His “tire-tracked” sock, by the way, was later put up for auction.

We learn that there are paparazzi “who make a career out of following Spears about town” and some “defend her driving.”

Personally, I don’t think Britney is that fascinating, and she and her sons don’t look that different in photos taken five seconds or five days apart.

Three feet is enough. We all know that something terrible is destined to happen to Spears, her kids, one of the photographers or innocent bystanders if she isn’t given a few feet of space and privacy. How about a time out?”

[Photo via Getty Images.]