On Wednesday, President Bush got to perform what we’re sure is his favorite national ceremony of all time: the Pardoning of the Thanksgiving Turkey!
Pumpkin and Pecan (Who might have been named by Flava Flav, we’re not sure) were spared a certain fate as someone else’s T-Day dinner.
The Prez delivered a moving speech regarding:
This is an election year, so it is fitting that the names of these two birds were chosen through the democratic process. After a long, drawn out election season, when the people finally spoke, the name of the ticket sent here to the White House was Pumpkin and Pecan. Pumpkin is right there. Pecan is in an undisclosed location.
Pumpkin and Pecan have an exciting trip ahead of them: Later today, they will fly to Disneyland aboard “Turkey One.” Pumpkin will be the honorary Grand Marshal of Disneyland’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Together these birds will gobble the rest of their days in “The Happiest Place on Earth.” I just hope they stay humble there.
He then gave Pumpkin and Pecan one rose each and sent the other turkeys packing, no longer in the running to be America’s Next Pardoned Turkey.
Pumpkin and Pecan had Disneyland closed down to celebrate their new freedom, kicking out all the gays and Miley Cyrus.
After a decadent romp through a Walgreens for holiday gifts, the turkeys said, “Happy Thanksgiving y’all!”
[Photo via Getty Images.]
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