Chaz Bono returned to his LA home on Tuesday with a Paparazzi Action Figure Set!

Maybe he'll perform a paparazzi mutilation demonstration!

Former daughter of Sonny and Cher, Chaz has received intense media attention after deciding to undergo a sex change operation.

The only solution to avoid the photogs is to be boring!

Sorry Chaz, you're anything but!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

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Comedianne/singer/superstar Jackie Beat is one of the most offensive people on this planet. She's also one of the most hilarious!

The cultural critic and satirist has released a new parody song - set to Cher's Gypsies, Tramps and Theaves - about Chaz Bono's revelation that he is undergoing gender reassignment.

If you think you can handle it, check out the HIGHlariousness below!

HE/SHE CHASTITY
by Jackie Beat

She was born to the couple known as Sonny & Cher
The mom half was famous for the sequines she’d wear
Her dad was short and had a mustache!
But something didn’t seem right
Hell, even Stevie Wonder knew that Chaz was a dyke

He She Chastity
She claims that she has always been a man
Trapped in a… Big-boned girl’s body
Cuz every night after mom & daddy’s show
She’d play with GI Joe

First it’s a mullet, then a crew-cut
Then you’re in jeans that say SEARS on the butt
Next thing you know, you want a sex change!
I hate to be judgmental
But as a normal person, I consider it strange

It’s a travesty
You know that Jesus doesn’t make mistakes
Don’t trade your puss for a pee-pee
But if you do, maybe you should try to get
Alexis Arquette’s

Cher seemed shocked, even though Chaz rocked
That John Goodman style
Where’s that angel in matching Bob Mackie
Cuz we haven’t seen her for awhile
Uh huh, she couldn’t even fake a smile
Oh no!

She was born in the body of the opposite sex
And now she will trade in her boobies for pecs
If you ask me, the mother’s to blame
She wasn’t a role model
She should have been more feminine
like Candis Cayne!

If it were up to me
All these fuckin’ freaks would understand
That God made…Two genders, not three
I mean, imagine if one day I came to you
And said I was a man!

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Mama Cher is finally speaking out about her daughter's choice to officially become a man.

In a statement, Cher reveals that "Chaz is embarking on a difficult journey, but one that I will support. I respect the courage it takes to go through this transition in the glare of public scrutiny."

Preach!

The gay icon adds, "Although I may not understand, I will strive to be understanding. The one thing that will never change is my abiding love for my child."

In a 1998 interview, Cher admitted to initially having a hard time accepting Chaz's homosexuality. But it's nice to see she's had a change of heart and loves her child unconditionally.

[Image via WENN.]

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Cher's daughter, Chastity Bono, is one big girl. But not for long!

Bono, who will soon turn into Chaz Bono officially, was spotted on Monday heading to the gym in Los Angeles.

Chaz can "legally" become a man via surgery, but he's got to lose some of the weight first!

According to reports, sources close to Chaz say he'll have to lose a lot of weight in order to proceed with the surgery. It'd be too much of a health risk otherwise.

And he seems determined.

Looks like he'll be spending a lot of time at the gym.

Good luck, Chaz!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

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It's sure to end up a battle of the divas!

Cher has been cast alongside Christina Aguilera in the upcoming flick Burlesque.

It's a musical!

Cher plays the owner of a burlesque club at which Aguilera works, and she acts as a mentor to Aguilera's small-town girl.

Bring on a duet or two!!!

[Images via WENN.]

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Cher's had it with Vegas already???

The legend's Caesar's Palace residency will be coming to a close at the end of December, after only a year and a half at the casino!

NOT LONG ENOUGH! Boo!

Is this a ploy for money money????

The songstress will be taking the summer off, with the final leg of her residency starting September 19th and concluding December 20th in Caesar's showroom.

Cher has been performing four nights a week since May 2008 as a part of 200-show deal with the promoter over the span of three years.

Three years???

Try 18 months!

Update:

PerezHilton.com has received word that Cher will not be concluding her Caesar's Palace residency this December!

The diva legend plans to stick around in Sin City through 2010!

Hellz yes!

Tickets are now on sale for all of Cher's 2009 shows with the tickets for 2010 to be released at a later date.

[Image via WENN.]

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The legendary Cher has no love for Octo-Mom. But then again, you'd be hard press to find any one who does!

She slams the mother of 14 in a new interview with Entertainment Tonight.

"I'm so negative against her. She just shouldn't have any of those children as far as I'm concerned. I know that's going to get me in a whole mess of trouble, but I don't know where her mind is. She says the strangest things. I don't think she's doing drugs, but she acts like someone who is not of this world. It's like, 'hello come down to planet earth with the rest of us,'" said Cher to ET.

Thanks for letting it all out, diva!

[Image via WENN.]

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Despite performing in Vegas, Cher says she actually "lives like a nun," refraining from speech to preserve her voice, communicating via text and email instead - and not having much sex!

Going into the second phase of her Caesar's Palace residency, Cher revels in the infinite possibilities that the theater offers, because "anything that I came up with we could do, because this theatre is unbelievable."

But after her lavish shows, which include slinky costumes and extravagant theatrics, Cher bypasses the casinos, the Eiffel Tower drinks, the indoor smoking, and the 24/7 pAArty scene to take the 40 minute flight home to Los Angeles.

At 62, the singer - who can boast a hit for every decade - is more focused on work and has a new album in the works, which she describes as "a little bit more guitar-oriented, a little bit more like I Found Someone feeling, and there's some stuff that's still sort of guitar-oriented, but it's got a Southern feeling to it. You know, I just find songs that I like and then I do them and hopefully they make something cohesive."

We're sure it will be faaabulous, just like Jessie James!

[Image via AP Images.]

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LOL-licious!!!!!!

Nadya Ginsburg is genius.

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