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McDonald’s Shutting Down ALL of Its Crimea Locations Following The Russian Invasion!

| Filed under: PolitikFoodFast Food

mcdonalds crimea putin doodle

Russia’s attempt to super-size their nation’s borders may have just cost the citizens of Crimea their Golden Arches!

Fast food giant McDonald’s has closed ALL of its franchises in the disputed territory following Russia’s annexation of the peninsula earlier this year!

McD’s explained that the shut downs were due to

The Government Heartlessly Ruins A Beloved Meme Just Like Your Parents Ruined Facebook

| Filed under: PolitikSad SadHealthDog

government healthcare twitter doge meme ruined

Just like when old people try and adopt something young and hip to 'connect' with younger generations, HealthCare.gov has officially ended the beloved 'Doge' meme, a barely coherent Shiba Inu that speaks in colorful comic sans.

While yes, the fact that they went out of their way to ruin a meme will likely make it go viral, we're willing to bet that it'll have little to no effect on what they're trying to do for healthcare!

In other words, the end of Doge wasn't worth it!

Along with the image (above), they simply posted:

Obama Gets Passed The Bong! Find Out Who Is Urging Him To Reclassify Pot! (Hint: It's Congress!)

| Filed under: DrugsPolitikBarack Obama

president obama congress weed pot reclassify urged

Congress is tired of having to hide their pot in cookie jars and stuff, so they're finally pushing for President Obama to reclassify the drug that should've have been classified so poorly to begin with!

And when we say Congress, we totally don't mean all of them — but 18 of them at least!

Oh, and they're all Democrats. Whatevs! They're asking the President to put his money where his mouth is after his latest mention of the sticky icky and how it's no worse than alcohol!

Specifically, they want him to

Sochi Sparks Gay Rights Protesters To Be Detained As Games Begin!

| Filed under: Gay Gay GayLegal MattersPolitikSad SadOlympics

olympics sochi russia gay rights activists detained

NOT cool, Russia!

It looks like the Sochi Olympics opening ceremonies WERE just for show — specifically in the tolerance department!

We're getting reports of Russian police detaining gay rights activists for trying to protest on Moscow's famous Red Square. This was right before Putin opened the Olympic games, trying to prove he was tolerant with moves like having t.A.T.u. perform!

Apparently 10 protesters were detained in Moscow and four in St Petersburg — and allegedly two of those people were actually

Remember Figure Skating Goddess Michelle Kwan?? She Could Be Rhode Island's First Lady!

| Filed under: PolitikOlympicsFigure Skating

michelle kwan clay pell governor rhode island

And it's possible! He could!

Michelle Kwan might not be doing the ice skating thing anymore for the Olympics, but that doesn't mean her life is boring! Her husband, Clay Pell, has decided to run for the Governor of Rhode Island!

He's been considering it for months, and he finally sacked up and officially put his hat in!

Here's what he said in his announcement: