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Amy Schumer Makes First Appearance Since Split & Says She Wants A 'Nice Guy'

| Filed under: Goldie HawnSexAmy Schumer

Amy Schumer appears on Loose Women.

Amy Schumer wants a nice guy!

Related: Goldie & Amy Admit To Naked Selfies

The actress made her first appearance since news of her split from boyfriend Ben Hanisch. Appearing on UK TV show Loose Women alongside Goldie Hawn, the comedian was quizzed on what type of man she finds most attractive — nice guys or bad boys.

She said:

"I'll go for nice guy."

Not really a surprise, as by all accounts Ben was definitely a nice guy! How could a furniture designer be bad, right?

Goldie, on the other hand, raised her hand for the bad boys, saying:

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Christian University Confers Honorary Degree On Man Who Loves To 'Grab Them By The Pussy'

| Filed under: Oops!Wacky, Tacky & TruePolitikDonald TrumpParty Poppin'Sad SadSexSchoolViral: NewsControversy

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Your esteemed President, Donald Trump, was granted an honorary doctorate of law at Liberty University earlier today in Virginia, and he spoke at their graduation ceremony, as well.

Donald Trump likes to grab women "by the pussy."

Liberty University is, reportedly, a Christian school.

Match made in heaven?

Related: Trump Wants To Take Away Press Briefings Completely

The Donald talked about the shake-up he's failing trying to accomplish in Washington, while also giving out ham-handed compliments and wishes of good luck to the reportedly Christian graduates who sat through this thrice-married "grab 'em by the pussy" loving President's speech.

Watch the full thing (below):

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Murder Suspect Hopes His Big Penis Will Get Him Off

| Filed under: Legal MattersViolenceSexCrazzzzyViral: NewsPeen

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Richard Henry Patterson is accused of murdering his girlfriend. But according to his rather unique defense, this was just a horrible sexual accident.

The 65-year-old Florida resident says his girlfriend, 60-year-old Francisca Marquinez, choked to death while performing oral on him.

Photos: Celebs With The Biggest Dicks! (Or So We've Heard…)

According to a motion filed by Patterson last week, Marquinez "accidentally sexually asphyxiated during oral sex." Patterson's legal team even says the medical examiner will testify the cause of death is consistent with their story.

Now the accused is asking the court to allow him to show his penis to the jury so they'll get an idea exactly what kind of penis could have caused such a tragedy.

Attorney Ken Padowitz says of the unusual request:

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Holy Shit! Watch This Model Get Bitten By A SHARK During Underwater Photo Shoot Gone Wrong!

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueModelsSexScary!Animal RightsSharkCrazzzzyViral: AnimalsViral: News

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When modeling underwater goes wrong…

Adult entertainer Molly Cavalli went underwater into a shark cage earlier this week to do a photoshoot for the sex cam website CamSoda when things went ALL wrong!

Related: Couple Arrested After Filming Brutal Execution Of Service Dog

Moments after Cavalli went down into the shark cage to start shooting film, she was bitten on the foot by what's being reported as a bull-headed lemon shark — but when you see the video, you'll realize that whatever kind of shark it was, it's WAY bigger than you'd want to swim with!!

Ch-ch-check out the video of the entire incident and aftermath (below)!!!

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Jewelry Brand's Hilariously Perverted Slogan Goes Viral!

| Filed under: JewelryAd CampaignsHIGHlariousSexViral: News

Jewelry company slogan goes viral!

BAHAHAHA!

Sometimes we really love it when marketing fails — because it gives us such a good laugh!

Related: A Swimsuit Company's Giveaway Backfires

A jewelry company has gone viral thanks to its perverted slogan (above). "Something for every hole"??? HA!!!

That would also be an excellent slogan for a dildo company. *smirk*

Nadine McCarthy Kahane, CEO of the marketing company Stone & Strand, told Buzzfeed News the slogan was intentionally provocative, and written by a team of young women with "an irreverent outlook." She said:

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Kourtney Kardashian's Makeup Artist Gifted Her A BUTT PLUG?? WATCH HERE!

| Filed under: Kourtney KardashianSexReality TVScott DisickKUWTKSnapchat

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Kourtney Kardashian isn't your typical boss. Just ask Joyce Bonelli!

On Thursday, the KUWTK star was given a couple of presents from her friend and longtime makeup artist presumably for her recent 38th birthday.

However, Miz Bonelli didn't give the mother-of-three a gift certificate or even a birthday card. She got Kourt SEX TOYS!

Related: Kourtney Kardashian Flaunts Her LITERAL Birthday Suit

Specifically, Scott Disick's ex received a vibrator, tweezer clamps, and a big ol' butt plug! Yes, you heard us right!

Miz Kardashian even posted her new goodies on Snapchat:

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