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Ted Cruz Was Called 'Lucifer In The Flesh' By A Fellow Republican This Week — Now Satanists Are Offended At The Comparison! See Their HELL-arious Statement!

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You know it's bad when even Satan worshippers say you're too extreme…

And that's the problem Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz must now confront, after a fellow politician called out his devilish ways in a viral rant!

Related: Remember Ted's Sex Scandal?!

John Boehner, the former Republican Speaker of the House and a congressman from Ohio, was giving a talk at Stanford University on Wednesday night when a question came up about what the politician thought of the man Donald Trump calls "Lyin' Ted."

Boehner, uh, well… he didn't exactly hold back in telling the audience what he thought of Cruz:

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This Woman Believes Monster Energy Drinks Hide Their Satanic Love In Plain Sight! She Might Just Convince You Too…

Filed under: FoodFunnyCrazzzzy

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But we hope not, because come on.

We think it's safe to assume you've at least heard of, if not actually tasted, a Monster energy drink.

Such is the reach of Satan's grasp…

According to this God-fearing, Christian woman at least! She's unraveled Monster's dark secret… an alliance with the dark prince!!

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Amanda Bynes' Newest Friend Thinks He's Satan! Plus, She's Interacting With Sam Lufti — AKA Britney Spears' Breakdown Buddy!

Filed under: Amanda BynesTwitterNew YorkMental Health


The news coming from New York City involving Amanda Bynes just keeps getting worse and worse.

First she was caught shoplifting twice, then she confirmed her engagement, and now she's got a best friend who thinks he is Satan?

This is not good, gurl. Not good at all.

[ Related: EXCLUSIVE! Amanda Bynes Odd Behavior Continues! ]

The actress has been spotting hanging around with visual artist JJ Brine who runs the VECTOR art gallery in NYC, is in a 'Charles Manson concept band,' owns a record company called 'Druglord Records,' and has dubbed himself the 'Prince of Hell.'

Sources who were once close to the actress spoke out with their concern to Life & Style.

They said:

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President Obama Has A Twin: The History Channel’s The Bible Miniseries' Satan!

barack obama history channel twin

LOLZ. This is ridiculous!

Normally, one wouldn’t think twice about The History Channel’s The Bible miniseries casting actor Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni in the role of Satan. Except when the Prince of Darkness bears a slight resemblance to President Barack Obama

Of course Christian conservative, Glenn Beck couldn’t help but point this out to his Twitter followers via photo screenshot. However, the History Channel released the following statement:

“History channel has the highest respect for President Obama. The series was produced with an international and diverse cast of respected actors. It's unfortunate that anyone made this false connection. History's 'The Bible' is meant to enlighten people on its rich stories and deep history."

The show's producer, Mark Burnnett added:

“This is utter nonsense. The actor who played Satan, Mehdi Ouzaani, is a highly acclaimed Moroccan actor. He has previously played parts in several Biblical epics — including Satanic characters long before Barack Obama was elected as our President.”

Meanwhile, his producing partner and wife Roma Downey also said:

"Both Mark and I have nothing but respect and love our President, who is a fellow Christian. False statements such as these are just designed as a foolish distraction to try and discredit the beauty of the story of The Bible.”

Sounds like one wacky coincidence to us, but we'd hate to be in Mohamen's shoes right about now!

[Image via DJDM/WENN and History Channel.]

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WTF: Vatican Declares Yoga As Satanic

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueFitnessYoga

Yoga Satan

You're kidding us, right?

No? The Vatican really declared yoga as Satanic?

That's stupid. Flat out.

The line of reasoning is this: if you practice yoga, it leads to a belief in Hinduism. If you believe in Hinduism, that's just false. Also, apparently it can degenerate into a cult of the body.

And then, the Vatican’s own chief exorcist Gabriele Amorth said one of the most absurd things we've ever heard:

“Practising yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter.”

Obviously they know nothing about yoga — it has nothing to do with Satanism, or Satanic sects.

We're just absolutely stunned that anything like Harry Potter or yoga is in the Vatican's radar, as there HAVE to be more pressing issues. It's like they're pulling things out of a hat and making them part of their weekly episodes of Yep, That's Evil!

And mind you, we aren't referring to all Catholics here. We even have some Catholics very dear to us who live and breathe yoga, and can't for the life of them understand why the two can't walk hand in hand. Not all Catholics believe this stuff, regardless of what the Vatican says (and the current Pope has expressed similar ideas to the exorcist, back in 1999).

It's those followers that we love: keeping an open mind while keeping the faith.

[Image via AP Images.]

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Michele Bachmann Gets Glittered!

Filed under: Gay Gay GayPolitikPerezTVMichele BachmannLGBT


Last week, we heard all about a new profile of Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann, which revealed that she once thought an ex-nun and lesbian were attempting to kidnap her.

Later on in the profile, we heard the following quote from Michele about being gay:

"Any of you who have members of your family in the lifestyle, we have a member of our family that is. This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay. Barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined, and just because someone feels this or thinks this, doesn't mean that we're supposed to go down that road."

We found her comments to be absurd and disgusting…and evidently we weren't alone, because Bachmann was "glittered" (above) by a gay rights activist during a "conservative conference" in Minneapolis, Minn on Saturday.

Okay, so it wasn't the most effective glitter-job EVER, but hey…she tried!

Do U think Michele Bachmann deserved to get glittered for her anti-gay views?

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Michele Bachmann Thought An Ex-Nun And Lesbian Tried To Kidnap Her!

Filed under: Gay Gay GayPolitikSad SadMichele BachmannLGBT

michele bachmann sad

Seriously, Michele???

According to a new profile of Michele Bachmann, the congresswoman once thought an ex-nun and lesbian were attempting to kidnap her.

Apparently, while at a constituent forum, she refused to address the issue of gay marriage, and then she was approached by the ex-nun and lesbian in a bathroom who politely brought up the subject, to which she responded by screaming the following:

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