Amber Portwood of Teen Mom OG tearfully opened up to her cousin Krystal and costar Catelynn Lowell about her suicidal thoughts and postpartum depression in an emotional episode Monday night.
She shared that these thoughts have only gotten worse since having her son James with boyfriend Andrew Glennon, coupled with nasty messages from social media trolls.
Related: Did Amber Portwood Secretly Get Married?
The mother of two shared with her cousin about one scary night where she contemplated suicide:
“There was a night that I was waiting for [Andrew] and James to go to bed so I could kill myself. And for some odd reason, he could feel it and he was like, ‘I’m not going to bed.'”
Amber continued about how the messages on social media regarding her parenting have also been putting her down:
“They can’t accept the fact that I have postpartum in any way. I just didn’t know what it felt like because I’d never experienced that before.”
The reality TV starlet sought comfort from her longtime costar Catelynn, who entered a treatment center after suffering from a miscarriage last year, sharing
“I’m just at my end. I’m literally, I feel like I’m at my lowest right now. I’m not… I have no will. I’m not living for myself at the moment.”
Cate responded:
“Just those words scare me. I would love to see you at a place where you could [live for yourself]. But if you really need help, there are places you can go — know that. So you don’t feel hopeless.”
After conversations with some of the executive producers on the show and tweeting about it last month, the episode ends with Amber seemingly making the decision to end filming:
“I just don’t feel like this is right for my life anymore, I think you guys want a certain kind of story that I just don’t want to give you any more. I just feel like it’s very depressing to be on this show.”
We’re wishing you all the best in your road to healing, Amber!
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
[Image via Amber Portwood/Instagram.]
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