Anderson Cooper Will NEVER Uncage His Little Fox For Playgirl

Welp, there goes our reason to live!
Yesterday on his show Anderson Cooper addressed some pretty eXXXciting rumors regarding his pants fox, telling his audience:

“It’s amazing how quickly false stories or rumors get started. Yesterday, I got inundated with calls from people about some story about me that was going around and I don’t even know where it started but it was on some online publication that said I’d be approached by Playgirl and offered to pose nude for Playgirl magazine.”

THEN the cruel Anderson Live host got our peen hopes up, adding:

“We had the photo shoot yesterday. I felt really free and comfortable in front of the photographer. They just made me feel good.”

But, alas, it was all a joke. Anderson added:

“No, in truth no one wants to see my pale little chicken legs sprawled out on some shag carpet.├óΓé¼┬¥

Um… YOU’RE DELUSIONAL ANDY!
We — and by “we” we mean every straight woman, gay man and simi bi curious human or robot in the universe — would LOVE to see you sprawled out just about anywhere!
But, it sounds like Anderson is just too sky to please his fans! UGH!
Too bad. We’d really like to know just how Silver the fox is!
[Image via WENN.]