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Living Greek Tragedy Ivanka Trump Tries & Fails To Quote Socrates

Philoso-FAIL!

Ivanka Trump Attempts To Quote Socrates & It Goes So Wrong

Yet another one of Ivanka Trump’s desperate attempts to seem philosophical has resulted in her being mercilessly mocked on Twitter.

On Tuesday, the First Daughter thought she’d motivate her followers with a quote she attributed to the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates.

She tweeted:

So inspirational. So not the right Socrates.

Shortly after, Twitter fact checkers pointed out that the phrase wasn’t uttered by the actual Socrates, but by a mysterious gas station attendant character named Socrates in Dan Millman’s fictionalized 1980 memoir, Way of the Peaceful Warrior.

Twitics didn’t go easy on Donald Trump’s daughter once the slip up was made.

Not the actual Socrates pic.twitter.com/SbkKe81AfA

— 🌀Jupiter’s Shadow (@Some_Mexican_Ok) October 16, 2018

I think in this case, fighting the old might well advised.
Also, Socarates didn't say that
It was a character called Socrates who was a gas-station attendant in a book published in the 1980s by Dan Millman.

— Mister Laurie to you (@SICrecords) October 16, 2018

So, what’s a hapless presidential advisor to do? Poke fun at herself — or at least try to!

Vank later replaced the original tweet with another, winking at her slip-up:

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
-Socrates (note: a fictional character not the philosopher)

— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) October 16, 2018

But she shouldn’t have focused on fighting the old, because the internet continued to show her no mercy:

"Yabba dabba Doo!"
–Fred Flintstone (note: a fictional character)

— Average Joe (@Fight4Goodness) October 16, 2018

“The secret of misidentified quotes is to put a dash line before any famous person’s name immediately following the quote.”
-Abraham Lincoln (note: a fictional character but still giving the wrong impression)

— 🦇 Bloodbert "Impartial Drunk" Taco 🦇 (@blobert) October 16, 2018

"All we are is dust in the wind." — So-crates (the inspiration and white-robed fiddle player for the 1970s rock band Kansas)

— Joseph Rose (@josephjrose) October 16, 2018

I think you meant this:
"The truth is that men are tired of liberty."
Benito Mussolini

— Mr Brick Housewall (@BrickHousewall) October 16, 2018

Be better at Googling, Ivanka.

FUN FACT: the Socrates Ivanka quoted was played by Nick Nolte in the film adaptation of the book. So, Ivanka technically quoted Nick Notle…

[Image via WENN/YouTube]

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High School Cheerleader Allegedly Traded Pot Brownies For Homecoming Queen Votes!

Homecoming Queen Drug Scandal!

Cheerleader Allegedly Traded Pot Brownies For Votes!

10/04/18 12:53pm PDT

If you thought the presidential election was fraught with corruption, you’ve never seen a fight for homecoming queen!

Well, Hartford High School has now!

On September 26, an anonymous tip led Michigan state police to believe brownies being passed around the school were of the extra special variety.

Video: Lindsay Lohan Posts Mean Girls Day Shoutout

The brownies were given out in goodie bags to the football team — and are believed to be baked by a cheerleader as bribes for a vote for homecoming queen!

Local news station WWMT reports student called Michigan’s anonymous “OK2Say” hotline and spilled the pot. Er, plot.

The school sent out a letter explaining the incident and saying:

“All individuals are being dealt with according to our district policies and student handbooks. We have notified the Hartford Police Department and are assisting them in their criminal investigation of the matter.”

There’s something in the student handbook that covers this situation??

According to investigators, the suspected “chef” has already moved out of town — so we guess she won’t be getting that crown after all?

[Image via Paramount Pictures.]

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Kanye West Says Kim Kardashian Is ‘In Law School Now’

Kim Kardashian Going Back To School?

Kanye West Says Kim Is 'In Law School Now'

09/10/18 4:53pm PDT

No, Kim Kardashian West is not going to law school.

Kanye West was boasting about his wife’s prison reform activism on Monday and ended up giving people the wrong impression.

In case you missed it somehow, she’s been using her celebrity status to get meetings with our ratings-obsessed president, which is great — she even got clemency for Alice Marie Johnson!

Video: Watch Kim Talk About Prison Reform

When asked about Kim’s new passion, he told Extra:

“I love it, I love it. That’s all we focus on, helping people that don’t have a voice, breaking down the class systems. There’s two million African Americans incarcerated now… We’re going to get people out, period.”

He also said Kim “is in law school now” leading to a lot of reports Kim had taken her devotion to the next step.

But her reps denied any such thing, as Kanye was just speaking figuratively, saying this undertaking was like law school.

As great as it would be for Kim to go that hard at this, the reality TV star SLASH makeup mogul SLASH fashion icon SLASH momma of three does not have time to go to graduate school.

For those wondering, Kim took classes at Pierce College, but it was at that time she became a TV star — and she never looked back.

Of course, now gurl could straight up teach at business school! If she weren’t too busy that is.

[Image via Ivan Nikolov/WENN.]

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Best High School Movies EVER!

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Gallery

Superlatives!

The Best High School Movies Ever!

09/05/18 5:40am PDT

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Girl Leaves Middle School In Tears After Officials Say Her Braids Violate Policy

WTF!?

Catholic School Officials Say Girl’s Braids Violate Their Policy

08/23/18 2:14pm PDT

A Louisiana Catholic school has come under fire after video went viral of an 11-year-old Black middle schooler exiting the premises because her braids violated school policy.

Faith Fennidy was recorded in tears on Monday as she packed up her supplies and left her classroom at Christ the King Middle School.

Apparently, school officials told the sixth-grader earlier in the month that her hairstyle did not follow the school’s new policy — so her family changed it, spending a “considerable amount of money in the process,” according to the family’s lawyer.

Video: YouTuber Laura Lee Apologizes For Racist Tweets

But when Faith returned to school on Monday with short, neat braids, officials said the girl’s hair was still out of order and reportedly told her to leave.

Video of the incident was shared to Facebook by Steven Fennidy, who identified himself as Faith’s brother. In his post, Steven wrote that the school “sneakily added in a policy that no extensions, clip-ins or weaves are allowed,” a policy he says will “affect black children more than white children.”

He went on to say Faith’s extensions aren’t just a hairstyle, but they “make the hair easier to maintain” and allow her to “have access to the swimming pool without having to get her hair re-done every night.”

The policy — which, in the 2018 handbook, states that “only the student’s natural hair is permitted. Extensions, wigs, hair pieces of any kind are not allowed” — has since sparked outrage online, with many social media users calling it a prime example of racial discrimination.

But the school sees it otherwise. A rep for the district said in a statement to People that the school “offered the student’s family an opportunity to comply” with the new policy and that they “remain committed to being a welcoming school community that celebrates our unity and diversity.”

They really don’t see the irony in that statement, do they? Maybe they should watch this video and see things from a different point of view…

I hate that I have to post this. But this just isn’t right. This is an issue we tried to resolve with the school, but they won’t compromise at all. My sister Faith and many little black girls wear extensions. She’s been attending this school for two years and wearing extensions. Over the summer the school has sneakily added in a policy, that no extensions, clip-ins or weaves are allowed. Faith got a notice on the first day of class and it’s ridiculous that these schools that we are PAYING for, will go in and make policies without consulting or trying to figure out how this will affect your life or your child’s life. Extensions make the hair easier to maintain. It allows my sister to have access to the swimming pool without having to get her hair Re-done every night. How do you make a policy without even having a discussion. It’s because you don’t care and it’s just one more barrier to entry for black people. This decision is going to affect black children more than white children. Please share this video. All the principal could say was, “They’re swinging it and things like that…” My entire middle and high school career I was in private school I sat behind a million white girls who would play in their hair. Re-do their pony tails a million times a day. Nothing was ever said. She kept saying the issue is it’s not their natural hair. It’s a style that we are not allowing. It’s not uniform. WOW. This is Christ The King Middle School in Gretna, Louisiana. This has all just been very upsetting.

Posted by Steven Evergreen Fennidy on Monday, August 20, 2018

[Image via Steven Fennidy/Facebook]

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Tiffany Haddish Says Her Plan B To Hollywood Was… Teaching Sex Ed!

07/31/18 5:10pm PDT

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Ever since we saw her give Jada Pinkett Smith that hilarious grapefruit blow job lesson in Girls Trip, we knew Tiffany Haddish was a comedy star.

But even if the actress’s career never took off, she’d still likely be giving sex advice — to a room full of high school students.

Video: Tiffany LOSES IT In SNL Blooper Reel!

In a new interview with Glamour, the Night School star revealed that she used to consider a career as a sex education teacher in case the whole Hollywood thing never panned out, admitting: (more…)

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Jimmy Fallon Surprises The Marjory Stoneman Douglas Class Of 2018 With Emotional Commencement Address — WATCH

06/04/18 10:43am PDT

What a special moment.

On Sunday, Jimmy Fallon surprised Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School‘s class of 2018 by delivering the commencement address!

As you know, the Parkland, FL school suffered a mass shooting in February — during which 17 lives were taken to gun violence. Four of those victims — Meadow Pollack, Carmen Schentrup, Nicholas Dworet, and Joaquin Oliver — were seniors. Their parents accepted diplomas on their behalf.

The TV personality offered a combination of comedic relief and seriousness to honor the students and their families. Watch his speech (above)!!

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Republican Actually Blames School Shootings On PORN!

05/30/18 8:41pm PDT

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In the 18th round of the Anything But Guns game, things get sexy.

As the epidemic of mass shootings has continued unchecked, the Republican position has evolved faster than you can say “there’s no such thing as science it wuz all created in six days.”

They began by shifting the focus from guns to mental health — but quickly found that backfired when those who wanted sensible gun control pointed out universal background checks could include looks at history of mental health.

Since then they’ve blamed violent movies, video games, abortions, bullying, lack of father figure, demonic spirits (yes, really), and too many doors in school buildings.

Now they’re going after something they hate anyway: “Pornography.”

Yes, during a meeting with pastors last week, U.S. Representative Diane Black (who is running for governor of Tennessee, btw) said porn was “a big part” of the problem:

“It’s available on the shelf when you walk in the grocery store. Yeah, you have to reach up to get it, but there’s pornography there. All of this is available without parental guidance. I think that is a big part of the root cause.”

Um, except EVERYONE has porn all over the world (some countries infamously kinkier than we are) and yet the U.S. pretty much has everyone else beat on school shootings.

To see what Republicans blame next, tune in to Anything But Guns next week and EVERY WEEK AFTER! Ugh.

[Image via ABC/WENN.]

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13 Reasons Why Showrunner Defends That Sexual Assault Scene — Because It Happens All The Time IRL

05/22/18 7:08pm PDT

[SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2]

Season two of 13 Reasons Why may be just as controversial as the first.

The hit Netflix show returned on Friday, and over the weekend fans eventually got to that scene — in which Tyler (Devin Druid) is sexually assaulted with a broomstick by Monty (Timothy Granaderos).

Many viewers thought the scene went too far, calling out the show as problematic for the sake of controversy. But showrunner Brian Yorkey says the motivation for such a horrifying attack was itself even worse.

Unfortunately, it happens all the time to high school students. He told Entertainment Weekly: (more…)

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