Talk about a match made in HOLY CRAP!
In the most shocking, jaw-dropping, pinch-us-because-we-must-be-dreaming-about-Zefron news we can remember, Oprah Winfrey has reached down from her magnificent royal tower and extended her glorious hand to the lost and forlorn Lindsay Lohan!!!
In what will be her first interview after finishing up her court-ordered rehab stint, Lindz has agreed to do an exclusive sit-down with The Big O!
Whoa!!! This makes the Lance Armstrong interview look like small (and artificially-enchanced) potatoes!!!
Even CRAZIER, LiLo will be given her own eight-episode documentary series on Oprah's OWN network!!!!
The network's spokesperson confirmed:
Does it get harder or easier to cheat after you've admitted to doing it?
On one hand, you'll have more people watching your every move — on the other, you don't really have to convince people supplying the illegal performance enhancers you're not a cop! LOLz!
Lance Armstrong has just announced his first race since admitting he was a liar, cheater, and completely untrustworthy person. You know, all despite being banned from cycling competitions FOR LIFE.
He just can’t seem to settle down!
Just months after buying a new house in Austin, Lance Armstrong is already selling it!
The disgraced cyclist sold his Lake Austin home only six weeks after getting the deed, and has quickly moved on.
Sometimes the long relationships are the hardest to endure (especially with a cheater) — and that's why Nike is dropping Livestrong like a sack of potatoes!
Lance Armstrong hasn't been making new friends, and it looks like even things he touches can't seem to keep ones that have been around for almost a decade! NINE YEARS the relationship between Nike and Livestrong has gone on, and it's now gone!
Officials have said that Livestrong is “deeply grateful” to Nike, which helped raise $100 million for the organization. Here's more of what they said:
When is the doping madness going to stop???
It's been enough that we've had to deal with Lance Armstrong's doping scandal, but now Olympic discus silver medalist, Darya Pishchalnikova has been banned from the Olympics for 10 years, and is also set to get her medal taken away.
Last year, Pishchalnikova received a silver medal at the London Olympics, but after she tested positive for the illegal drug Oxandrilone, she won't be able to compete for a whole decade.
Federation president, Valentin Balakhnichev said:
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While we think it's completely fine for Lance Armstrong to run to get his health up, we just hope that he's not running to try to compete again.
Earlier today, the biker hit the streets of Austin, TX to go for a shirtless run, and since he just found out that he's officially getting sued by the Justice Department, we're pretty sure he had a lot on his mind.
Running is sometimes the best remedy to burn off some steam, but in Lance's case, he may need to sprint for a very long time in order to forget about his troubles.
We're not sure if Armstrong is getting in shape in hopes to get into a competition, but whatever he's doing, we can only wish that he's doing it for himself — at this point we'd say that's for the best!
[Image via Splash News.]
The U.S. Department of Justice's lawsuit that was looming in the distance has now crashed down on top of Lance Armstrong, and we're hearing that someone who used to love him might have to testify against him!
Lance better hope there's a little love left, which we wouldn't bet on, because Kristin Armstrong is his EX-WIFE!
The DoJ filed a 33 page court document, and brings about the possibility that she may be called as a witness in the trial.