Comedian Andy Dick was scheduled to perform at the Vancouver Comedy Festival in Canada last night, but he was held up at the border because dumbass didn't realize he couldn't leave the country while on house arrest!

Suffice it to say, Dick and his ankle bracelet were not allowed in the country and nobody seemed to care.

Idiot!

[Image via WENN.]

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At least he's not in jail!

Andy Dick showed off his ankle bracelet from the Lindsay Lohan Collection: Trainwreck edition at the LA premiere of Funny People.

We all know how well it worked out for Lindsay!

[Image via WENN.]

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We're going to have nightmares for days!!

Recently-sober Andy Dick was the leader in a PETA protest on the McDonalds corporation in Chicago on Thursday afternoon, dressing as a deranged Ronald McDonald!

Scary.

Never one to shy away from publicity, Andy was leading the pack of veggie-friendly protestors in the fight against McDonalds treatment of chickens. According to PETA, "chickens killed for McDonald's have their throats cut while they are still conscious, and many are scalded to death in defeathering tanks, thanks to the outdated slaughter methods used by the company’s suppliers."

Ick!!!

We're all for animal rights, but do U think PETA and Andy's wackadoodle method of protest shined a light on the issue at hand?

Hey, they got a mention on our website. That's worth something a lot!

[Images via PETA.]

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Hey, so remember back in July when Andy Dick decided that dignity wasn't really his thing and in a fit of alcohol-induced idiocy pulled down the shirt of a 17-year-old girl outside of a restaurant?

Well, on Friday he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery and marijuana possession in Murrieta, California. He'll have to pick up one of Hollywood's hottest accessories for the season: the SCRAM alcohol monitoring anklet.

Two additional charges of public intoxication and possession of Xanax without a prescription were dropped, and the battery charge is a downgrade from sexual assault.

Paid a lot of money to do so, Dumpy Dick's lawyer Jeffery Rubenstein, says, "Andy is a great guy. People don’t really know him and we are considering this matter closed. He’s looking forward to putting this matter behind him."

Actions speak louder than words.

We're going to charge him with stupidity.

Oh, and guess what? The verdict's in.

Guilty as charged!

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Last month, Andy Dick was arrested at a restaurant in California on suspicion of drug possession and misdemeanor sexual battery.

He was acting all sorts of crazy, according to various sources at the scene.

But, on a lucky break for Dick, he won't be charged with sexually assaulting a 17 year-old girl last month. He's been spared a felony charge!

If you recall, he allegedly pulled down her top outside the restaurant. Remember the photos of him groping girls inside the joint?

According to a representative of the District Attorney, they say "We found that his actions were more in line with an assault than with a sexual battery. It didn't appear to be an overt sexual act."

Oh, cuz that makes it any better?

So his charge has now been changed to sexual assault, not battery.

Dick still faces charges for regular battery, public intoxication and unlawful possession of a controlled substance.

He'll be arraigned next week.

Time for someone to go to rehab (if he's not there already)!

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Andy Dick has been out of control these past few weeks, leading up to his arrest on Wednesday for drug and assault charges.

As PerezHilton.com Exclusively reported, Dick was kicked out of the Hard Rock hotel in Las Vegas earlier this month for being a fucked up mess.

Now, we have obtained these exclusive photos and info on Andy's wild and night just a few days ago.

The sobriety-challenged actor was pAArtying Sunday night at a bar in Temecula, California.

It was karaoke night. Fun!

Dick was was pulling up girls shirts, touching them, and being totally offensive to many.

"I was amazed he was not thrown out of the bar," a spywitness reveals exclusively to PerezHilton.com. "Several women were complaining. Honestly, the guy was out of control."

Sounds like typical Dick-ish behavior!

At one point, this random girl was singing karaoke and Andy "came from behind her and grabbed her."

How rude!

"He pulled up this other girls shirt and bra and forced his mouth on her breasts," says a stunned spywitness. "He was making out with this guy and girl too that night. In fact he was swappin spit with all kinds of guys and girls. Then, when he sang a song, which HE SUCKED, he was cussing and saying he wanted to fuck everyone's mother, suck dick, etc. Guy was way messed up and being an idiot."

As would be expected, messy Andy made MULTIPLE MULTIPLE bathroom trips.

Hopefully this recent arrest will be the wake-up call he needs to get help once and for good!

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CLICK HERE to check it out! (Obviously, it's NSFW - not safe for work.)

The un-funny man was recently a guest on the new Gong Show and he flashed his schlong!

If you think you can stomach it, click here for the uncensored footage.

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Left: Recently arrested comedian Andy Dick. Right: The Joker.

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Yes, that's really Andy Dick!

The wacktor was arrested in California earlier today and PerezHilton.com has just obtained the police report.

It brings the LOLs!

Here's what the cops have to say:

"At 0113 hours, Murrieta Police responded to call at Buffalo Wild Wings, 40484 Murrieta Hot Springs Rd., Murrieta to investigate an intoxicated male at the location urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance. Officers arrived and stopped a truck which was leaving the location. Witnesses told the officers one of the truck occupants had sexually battered a 17 year old outside the restaurant and bar.

The 17 yr old female victim and several witnesses told police that as Andy Dick left the establishment, he approached two females outside the bar. Dick walked up to the 17 year old female victim, grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts. He then was escorted by several of his friends to a truck which was stopped by arriving police officers in a nearby Sam’s Club a few moments later.

Andy Dick was in the front passenger seat of the truck. A curbside lineup was conducted and the male was identified by the victim, as well as a witness. During a search incident to arrest, marijuana and Xanax were found in Andy Dick’s pants pockets. Andy Dick was extremely intoxicated at the time of his arrest. He was booked at the Southwest Detention Center."

Is a stint on Celebrity Rehab in his future???

That…or jail!

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