Not surprising!

Sarah Palin spends heaps of money to control her public image, including $400,000 on consultants, lobbying and fundraising firms and she even pays $22,000 for someone to handle her "Internet messaging" on Facebook!

She also makes heaps of money for appearances, her TLC network show and book advances.

But despite all of that money she has, she's a crappy tipper!

She tipped a bellhop in Wichita only $5 for 7 bags and stiffed another bellhop entirely. None of the maids received tips either!

Sarah DID give a $100 bill to a St. Joseph, Michigan chocolate store owner who sent her a care package, but it was in front of fans and the media!

Figures…

[Image via WENN.]

Get over yourself, loser!

Check out Bristol Palin leaving the Dancing With The Stars launch party in El Lay with QUITE an attitude.

You're just as bad as Levi!

Well, why shouldn't she be? Now she gets to get back on a campaign trial…sort of.

Last night, it was confirmed that Sarah Palin's unwed, hypocritical teenage mother daughter, Bristol Palin, will be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars.

One could solidly argue that Bristol is filling the controversial spot on the line-up, following in the footsteps of Kate Gosselin from last year. And just like Kate from last year, Bristol is already doing interviews. The #1 question - WHY???

After the announcement was made last night, Bristol explained to sources why she felt the need to do the show. She said:

“I decided to do the show to get out of Alaska for a few weeks, do something fun and positive and have a good time. My mom’s excited for me. She knows this is real family entertainment.”

Oh yes! We can't wait until she insists that a huge screen be erected in the middle of Wasilla so they can show the first episode in the middle of town! Luckily for her, Levi Johnston isn't mayor yet, so she will probably get away with it. And speaking of the douchey father, how does he feel about Bristol's new gig? Bristol says:

“I don’t want to talk about Levi. I’m here to talk about doing something fun and positive.”

Yeah, that love and light attitude isn't going to last very long. Give Levi one week on The Insider and we can guarantee she'll be squawking bitchiness at him in no time!

Bristol will be partnered with two-time champion, Mark Ballas, who says that their rehearsals have started and while Bristol is "nervous," she apparently has a "dancing demon" that he intends to pull out of her.

Why do we feel like Tony Dovolani regrets having said the same thing one short year ago?!

[Image via WENN.]

Although he's bared it all for Playgirl and subjected himself to mass humiliation while running his mouth, the only thing Levi Johnston regrets is apologizing to Sarah Palin.

Levi said:

"I don't really regret anything. But the only thing I wish I wouldn't have done is to put out that apology [to Palin and the Palin family]. Cause it kind of makes me sound like a liar. And I've never lied about anything. So that's probably the only thing. The rest of the stuff I can live with. That was something I did to make my fiancée happy."

Yet, Levi just wants to be a better leader than Sarah in his run for Wasilla mayor.

"I can't guarantee or promise you anything but I'm gonna try… That's the goal," he added. "If we do win, I'm going to have to give up Hollywood for three years."

You promise?! It makes us want back his campaign.

[Image via WENN.]

You're both famewhores, but at least Levi admits it!

Since ex-fiancee Bristol Palin is heading for Dancing With The Stars, Levi Johnston had some choice words about the spawn of Sexy Sarah.

He says:

"I don't think I'm any more obsessed with making a career out of this than she is. Obviously she's doing Dancing with the Stars. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with any of it. I'm just taking it as it comes."

He also admitted he regrets apologizing to Sarah Palin during his brief engagement to Bristol saying:

"That was something I did to make my fiancée happy. I don't really regret anything. But the only thing I wish I wouldn't have done is to put out that apology, ’cause it kind of makes me sound like a liar. And I've never lied about anything. So that's probably the only thing. The rest of the stuff I can live with."

Levi is also still gunning for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and believes he is the right person for the job:

"I don't think being mayor is about qualifications. I think it's about people liking you and believing in you. If we do win, I'm going to have to give up Hollywood for three years."

Somehow we don't think you'll have to worry about it…although the town elected Sarah Palin so anything is possible!

[Image via AP Images.]

Oh Em Gee! This season has so much dead weight attached to it! Where are the ACTUAL celebrities, ABC???

In a twist that no one cared to see coming, Bristol Palin has been announced as one of the contestants on the coming season of Dancing With The Stars.

While Levi Johnston freezes his ass off trying to get Wasilla to vote him mayor, Bristol will be attempting to sashay her way into the hearts of America!

Why do we feel like this whole thing was planned out in Sarah Palin's kitchen one frosty Sunday morning a few weeks ago over a coffee and some moose munchies?

Britsol, make sure you dig into your momma's arsenal and perfect that wink, fist-to-chin bump! That sure made your mom look appalling adorable!

Oh, also, prepare yourself for when Levi goes to The Insider to complain that your dancing has taken you away from Tripp and now you are an unfit mother. (He learned that trick from Jon Gosselin!)

[Image via WENN.]

Wait till you hear this! This is ridiculous!

Bristol Palin, teenage mother and hypocrite advocate for abstinence, will be speaking at a benefit in Louisville, Kentucky to raise money for a shelter home for single mothers in September.

Good cause right? You would think for such an important cause, she would do this for free, right? Right?

WRONG!

Sexy Sarah's hussy daughter is getting paid $14,000 to speak! $14K! So not worth it!

Who is she to get so much money?! Sure, she's a single, teenage mother who got knocked up to the human equivalent of a sloth. But she is privileged beyond belief. She's had no struggle she didn't purposefully bring onto herself. She's never had to stay in a shelter or worry where her kid's next meal was coming from! What words of encouragement or wisdom could possibly escape her mouth that aren't going to sound trite and exceedingly preachy?!

Unbelievable! Save the money and use it towards something useful - like the effing shelter!

[Image via WENN.]

Can't say we're shocked by this - this douchebag has no boundaries!

Levi Johnston's reality show has hit a serious snag, because according to sources, he isn't interesting enough to carry the show by himself, so producers are trying to add another dimension with the inclusion of his son, Tripp.

The problem? Baby mama Bristol and her mother, former Vice Presidential candidate, Sexy Sarah Palin, refuse to give their consent!

A source reveals:

"Sarah can’t stand Levi and it’s gotten worse. She is absolutely opposed to it. Sarah hates Levi. She thinks his desperate grasp at fame is pathetic and doesn’t want him involving Bristol or Tripp in anything he does to try and get famous.”

Oh, puh-lease! As awful as he is, those two are probably just as willing to whore that poor baby out!

They just want to do it on their terms!

But for the three people who are interested in Levi's reality show, worry not! If Tripp isn't allowed, producers plan to give the Alaskan dumbass more goals beyond just running for mayor - they're thinking about having him run for city council, or - GASP - completing his high school education and getting his GED!

Ha! It's really just pathetic, isn't it?

How about they just leave him in the Alaskan tundra and film him while he tries to find his way back to civilization?!

We'd watch the entire series! LOLs!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

You know, we equate this whole situation to like giving Speidi a platform and microphone in Times Square. Sarah Palin isn't ever going to shut up as long as there are outlets for her to speak her pea brain!

Right now, Sexy Sarah has abandoned criticizing her daughter's life choices (go figure) to join forces with another mighty lady conservative, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who had the balls to say the "N" word on her radio show. Sarah has already made her point abundantly clear that she doesn't think people should hate on Dr. Laura so much, but still, she keeps right on talking and gabbing away.

Now, she has posted a rather lengthly defense for Dr. Laura on her Facebook page. Have a read and insert eye winks and chin pushes wherever you feel the need. Sarah copies and pastes writes:

Does anyone seriously believe that Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a racist? Anyone, I mean, who isn’t already accusing all conservatives, Republicans, Tea Party Americans, etc., etc., etc. of being racists?

Adversaries who have been trying to silence Dr. Laura for years seized on her recent use of the n-word on her show as she subsequently suggested that rap “artists” and other creative types like those producing HBO shows who regularly use the n-word could be questioned for doing so. Her intention in discussing the issue with a caller seeking advice was not to be hateful or bigoted. Though she did not mean to insult the caller, she did, and she apologized for it. Still, those who oppose her seized upon her mistake in using the word (though she didn’t call anyone the derogatory term) to paint her as something that she’s not. I can understand how she could feel “shackled” by those who would parse a single word out of decades of on-air commentary. I understand what she meant when she declared that she was “taking back my First Amendment rights” by turning to a new venue that will not allow others the ability to silence her by going after her stations, sponsors, and supporters.

I, and obviously many others, have been “shackled” too by people who play games with false accusations, threats, frivolous lawsuits, misreporting, etc., in an effort to silence those with whom they disagree. That’s why I tend to defend people who call it like they see it while others stop at nothing to shut them up. I learned this valuable lesson when the partisan obstructionists in my state tried to shackle, bankrupt, and destroy my family and supporters, and my record, with endless frivolous litigation when I returned from the Vice Presidential campaign trail. In order to shake off the shackles they wanted to paralyze us with, I handed the reins to another, much like Dr. Laura is doing, so that these obstructionists who hated a Commonsense Conservative agenda wouldn’t win. I didn’t retreat; I reloaded in order to fight for what is right on a fairer battlefield. So, more power to someone with good intentions who refuses to be shackled by their detractors when they are falsely accused of being racist.

Dr. Laura did not call anyone or any group of people the n-word. Curiously, the same criers over this issue didn’t utter a word when White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel called a group protesting the Obama Administration’s actions, “f***ing retards.” When this presidential spokesman uttered this term I commented that the President would be better off not including Emmanuel in his circle of advisers, and my opinion was based not just on the crude and disrespectful term Emmanuel used to label people, but because he too often gives the President very poor advice. I was called intolerant and narrow-minded by many on the Left for commenting on that issue. Many of these same Leftists are now spinning the Dr. Laura issue into something it is not. As usual, their hypocrisy and double standard applications are glaring.

- Sarah Palin

Zzzzzzz…. Oh sorry, we dozed off for a second. Bullshit makes us sleepy!

Anyway, we applaud Sarah for standing for what she believes in. She just wished her computer would explode so we wouldn't have to hear about it anymore…or anything else about her for that matter.

Do you love how she turned it around and made it all about her by the second paragrpah? We're surprised she even bothered to say Dr. Laura's name!

Pathetic!

[Image via WENN.]