Oh yea, we remember.

And Rachel Uchitel doesn’t take no for an answer!

After being denied from buying a $2 million condo, she kept searching, and now she’s found, and purchased, another $2 million condo in a very exclusive area in Manhattan.

Sources say that Uchitel purchased her new condo for the asking price, but what does she care? It’s all on Tiger’s dime anyway!

The homeowner’s association for her new building reportedly did not want her to move in, but unlike the previous building which refused to sell to her, it looks like these guys were all talk!

The word is that one of Rachel’s major motivations for purchasing this apartment was to have a place that would be well suited for a family to wreck.

Would U want Rachel Uchitel living in your building?

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

Reports came in earlier this week that Tiger Woods had nabbed himself a sweet bachelor pad in downtown New York City. Truth is, sources are reporting this morning that this alleged new apartment is a complete hoax.

Apparently, after looking into the address rumored to be Tiger's new home, sources found that it was an "'80s conversion, run-down" building that is utterly below Tiger's high standards. He wouldn't even be caught bringing one of his slutty cocktail waitresses to such a hole!

Or would he?

Sources suggest that if Tiger was spotted moving boxes into this apartment, as some witnesses have suggested, he may have been helping a GIRLFRIEND! (Or, as they put it, "a mistress he doesn't care about.")

Most likely, the whole thing was probably just tabloid wishful thinking or a stunt pulled by a landlord to promote his building. If you really want to find Tiger in New York, the only place you'd probably find him is on the green at Bethpage.

And that's where he belongs! He has a life and career to rebuild! Get to it!

[Image via WENN.]

Dang!

Only days after his divorce from Elin, Tiger Woods took out a $54.5 million mortgage for the mansion he's building on Florida's exclusive Jupiter Island.

The property will extend through three parcels of land and the house will be equipped with a tennis court, oxygen therapy room, multiple pools and a state-of-the-art fitness center.

Tiger is expected to pay the loan back by January 15, 2016.

But he can afford it!!!

[Image via AP Images.]

Almost!

People magazine was so confident their Elin Nordegren issue would be a big seller that they raised the price and printed more copies which they haven't done since the debut of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's twins back in August 2008!

An insider reveals:

"Everyone at People will be popping the champagne this morning. Early numbers show that Elin sold around 2 million copies, way up from its average of 1.4 million, yet not quite the 2.5 million Angelina sold."

But the Elin issue was ultimately more profitable because she opened up to the mag for free whereas Ange and Brad got paid $12 million!

A friend of Elin's says:

"This wasn't about the money for Elin. It was about telling her story once and for all. She will be happy that so many people bought the issue and finally read the truth. But now she hopes they all go away and leave her and her family alone. The last thing in the world Elin wanted to be was a celebrity."

But she's on the cover of a best-selling issue of People so we think it's a safe bet that she IS a celebrity — at least for now!

And we're sure the gold digging whores of Manhattan are knocking down the door!

Tiger Woods moved in to his new bachelor pad in downtown Manhattan over the weekend!

A witness saw Tiger "introducing himself as the new neighbor" in the building.

Well let the party begin!

[Image via AP Images.]

No swing and a miss here. He is back in the game…but at what cost?

This morning, shortly after his now ex-wife's long awaited interview hit the stands, Tiger Woods had an impressive start at The Barclays golf tournament in New Jersey.

Sources say that Tiger is poised for first place, alongside two other pros, and that he wowed the crowd with six birdies during the 15 holes.

Seeing as golf is all you have now, you better be friggin good at it!

P.S. - Where exactly is he in New Jersey? Hopefully somewhere centrally located! If he is too far north, he might be snagged by the clutches of Danielle Staub. (We think she used to be a cocktail waitress or something.) If he's too far south, he might be seduced by the GTL lifestyle! Not the safest place in the world for him, huh?

[Image via WENN.]

Now that his divorce from Elin Nordegren has been finalized, Tiger Woods talks about his feelings, his ex and the aftermath.

Here are some HIGHlights:

On Elin:
"I wish her the best in everything. It's a sad time in our lives. And we're looking forward to how we can help our kids the best way we possibly can. And that's the most important thing."

On whether he's still in love with his ex:
"That's the most important thing."

On whether he was "relieved" after the split:
"I don't think that's the word. I think it's just more sadness. Because I don't think you ever – you don't ever go into a marriage looking to get divorced. That's the thing. That's why it is sad."

On regrets:
"My actions certainly led us to this decision. And I've certainly made a lot of errors in my life and that's something I'm going to have to live with."

On his state of mind:
The divorce "was a lot more difficult than I was letting on. I certainly understand that she is sad. And I feel the same way."

Ugh, if he didn't cause this, it would be so much easier to tolerate this shiz!

Lots of luck, buddy.

[Image via WENN.]

This morning, the silence was finally broken as People Magazine released their interview with Elin Nordegren, which she deemed to be her first and only interview about the terrible public scandal involving her husband's repeated infidelity.

Now, Tiger Woods has released a statement in response to her her interview. The statement reads:

"This is a very painful, personal and private time for our family. Throughout this entire time, Elin has shown unwavering concern and support for our children. She is a wonderful mother. I know that the two of us will do everything we can to help our children adjust to this new family situation.

We both cherish the time we can spend with Sam and Charlie. Whether it's taking Sam to school or hitting balls with Charlie on the range, nothing gives me more enjoyment than these simple pleasures. We have two special kids, and I'm going to enjoy every minute with them.

Personally, I am learning to balance family and golf. My children come first and always will, but I also appreciate golf more than ever. I understand how important the fans and the game are to me. I know how lucky I am to do what I do for a living, and I am deeply grateful for everyone who has supported me."

It's kind of say to think about all you've lost in exchange for a lot of cheap thrills. But you brought this pain onto yourself. We just hope Elin finds a new path in this new chapter in her life, one that doesn't involve the kind of pain you've inflicted on her.

But who really suffers are those poor kids who will have to live in the shadow of there father's shame.

Very sad!

[Image via WENN.]

But do we believe her?

Elin Nordegren denied that any violence took place last Thanksgiving when ex-husband Tiger Woods got into a car accident.

She says:

“There was never any violence inside or outside our home. The speculation that I would have used a golf club to hit him is just truly ridiculous. I did everything I could to get him out of the locked car. To think anything else is absolutely wrong.”

She also added that a marriage "without trust and love" wouldn't be good for anyone, but the whole ordeal was very difficult for her. She explains:

“I’ve been through hell. It’s hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden—was it a lie? You’re struggling because it wasn’t real. But I survived. It was hard, but it didn’t kill me.”

So will she forgive Tiger?

"Forgiveness takes time," Elin remarks. "It is the last step of the grieving process."

She's also not commenting on the amount of her divorce settlement, but concludes that "money can't buy happiness or put my family back together."

So true — but it doesn't hurt either!

[Image via AP Images.]