Have Mercy! We Can't Even With This Unauthorized Cast Photo For Lifetime's Full House Movie! See It HERE!

Cut. It. Out.
Lifetime announced back in April it was going to make a TV movie about the cast of Full House, just like they did with Saved By The Bell.
The Unauthorized Full House Story will feature the behind-the-scenes lives of these memorable actors while they worked on the classic show about one of our favorite fictional families.
[ Video: Bob Saget Reacts To The Olsen Twins’ Full House Snub! ]
And now, we get to see who the network picked to portray the cast who brought to life such a wonderfully wacky group.
Oh Mylanta!
We don’t really have the words to explain how we feel about this picture, but Uncle Jesse TOTALLY understood how we feel when he said:

“Not the hair!”

Check out the ludicrous locks on these poor actors in the first cast photo (below)!

Oh, please!
The wig on faux-John Stamos is just out of control!
But heinous hair aside, Lifetime has also given us the who’s who of the cast, so let’s break it down:

Garrett Brawith as Bob Saget
Justin Mader as Dave Coulier
Justin Gaston as John Stamos
Stephanie Bennett as Lori Loughlin
Shelby Armstrong and Brittney Wilson as Candace Cameron Bure
Dakota Guppy and Jordyn Olson as Jodie Sweetin
Aislyn Watson and Jaime Schneider as Andrea Barber
Blaise and Kinslea Todd as Toddler Mary-Kate and Ashely Olsen
Calla and Tyler Jones as 6-year-old Mary-Kate and Ashely Olsen
Kylie and Jordan Armstrong as 9-year-old Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen