Hayden Panettiere‘s complicated relationship with her mother doesn’t look like it’s going to improve anytime soon…
As you know, the actress is releasing a tell-all memoir next week titled This Is Me: A Reckoning. So far, the excerpts we’ve heard have been absolute bombshells — but her mom Lesley Vogel isn’t on the same page when it comes to Hayden sharing her experiences.
In a Thursday interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the Ice Princess star said she felt like she was “groomed” into acting as a child:
“I think it’s the way I was raised. I was groomed. I was like a little soldier and I always have been. No was never an option. It was just, ‘Here are your scenes, here’s your dialogue, memorize it, hit the marks, do what your director tells you to do.’ I took my marching orders.”
In case you’re not aware, Hayden’s first role came BEFORE she even turned one! She did commercials before she even saw her first birthday, then eventually got her first television role in a soap opera at age four.
It was because of this she says her addiction took hold of her:
“[Things shifted for me] when I started self-harming in the form of substance abuse. My people-pleasing had built up and up, it was anger and anxiety and frustration. My life revolved around other people, and I lived to make other people happy and I was the last one on the list.”
She continued:
“The pressure of that built and built and just exploded. I started figuring out any way I could get through it. Sometimes they’ll say in treatment that, believe it or not, our addictions probably saved us at a certain point.”
Hayden also admitted even after she got in recovery, it didn’t get easier for her to stand up for herself:
“Then I was dealing with all those years of being the yes man and not sticking up for myself. Never saying no, I don’t feel comfortable doing that or telling people that I’m overworked. I would push myself to do whatever they wanted on set, but it was too much for any one person.”
Related: Hayden To Expose Real Life Trauma That Happened To Her As A Child Star
She even said sometimes she wonders if she would’ve gone into acting, had she not have been forced:
“That’s the thing is I will always wonder, if I would have gravitated naturally towards acting if I had not been pushed into it. But I see my daughter, at 11 years old, taking an interest. I will say, please go to college, please try things out. And if you really love it, then I will support you wholeheartedly. And if she doesn’t like it, she can get out. Her world doesn’t have to revolve around that.”
In a recent podcast interview with Jay Shetty from earlier this week, she also touched on her estranged relationship with her mother yet again:
“Everything was business. I became the confidant and the assistant and the therapist and the shoulder to cry on and everything but her child. … I said to her, ‘I don’t want us to work together anymore. I just want you to be my mom.’ I remember being hopeful. But I also wasn’t expecting the reaction that I got, which was, ‘You owe me.’ And that’s all she said. And she walked out.”
So sad… The Nashville star added:
“The fact that she didn’t care to have a relationship with me was a tough pill to swallow.”
And these claims are exactly what Lesley is SLAMMING. She said in a statement to Page Six that “the present drama is partially to sell books”:
“There is a personality ‘style’ which manifests as a need for control, entitlement and a lack of empathy. The major fear is that someone will see through the mask they present to the world and discover who they truthfully are.”
She went on to say “this condition cannot be ‘fixed'” and no matter any “continual efforts to support,” “comfort,” or “encouragement given, it will never be enough”:
“This personality style does not accept responsibility for life choices and therefore feels they have no need to alter their behavior. After 20 years of trauma, I took the advice of professionals and chose the no-contact route. As many parents of entertainment children [know], we are all too familiar with the painful observation of watching the self-destructive paths they sometimes choose. No parent hopes for this scenario; we want our children to be the best of themselves and live a peaceful, joyful life!”
Whoa. Harsh.
Lesley continued:
“Sadly, this is out of our control. You cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. Radical acceptance is the most difficult challenge any parent must embrace. Unfortunately, I have seen a great deal of such in my life experience. When someone leaves, the smear campaign begins; accusations, anger, belittling, gaslighting, etc. are the classic signs of this behavior style. The craving of drama and punitive action is traditional and to be expected.”
Wrapping up, she said she is “now retired” and searching for her “personal path to a joyous and peaceful life”:
“There is always that flicker of hope [that Hayden], too, will find her path to inner peace.”
WOW.
We mean, Hayden finally putting her truth out there seems like a great step towards finding her own inner peace, don’t you think?
How do U feel about Lesley’s response to Hayden, Perezcious readers? Sound OFF (below).
[Image via MEGA/WENN]
