Read Between The Lines

“We’re just friends,” Lauren Conrad is saying about ex-boyfriend Stephen Colleti, whom she’s been photographed with a lot lately.

What she’s thinking: “We’re totally fucking, but if I say we’re ‘just friends’ then I can drag this story out longer!”

What she wants us to think: “Heidi is a whore!”

What Stephen’s thinking: “I NEED this chick for publicity! I got fired from my job as a VJ on MTV and from One Tree Hill. I need work!”

What he wants us to think: “I’m not gay.”

What we’re really thinking: “Who cares about these two? The Hills is fake anyways!”

[Image via Fame Pictures.]