Charlie Sheen is the President of the United States and he wants Mel Gibson DEAD!
Umm, sold! This flick is going to be AWESOME!
But wait, Machete Kills gets even better!
Before Danny Trejo can get close enough to Mel to chop his head off (Machete's specialty, as evidenced in the trailer) he has to go through the Gibson army of girls including Sofia Vergara!
Get on their bad side and they'll whip out their tittays and rapid fire your ass to pieces!
The B-movie homage also stars Vanessa Hudgens, Amber Heard, Cuba Gooding Jr., Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba!
Ch-ch-check out the blood bath in the new NSFW trailer for this seXXXy sequel! (above)
We feel like we've heard this story before… sometime back in 2006…
At least this time around, the ending doesn't involve an anti-semantic tirade!
Mel Gibson just can't stay out of trouble- and this time he's lucky he stayed out of jail!
According to law enforcement sources, the Braveheart star was stopped by police in Malibu last weekend at a routine late night DUI checkpoint.
But Mel did not appreciate the 1 AM stop- probably because he didn't have his driver's license with him!
When the officers told him he had to move to another screening spot, Mel reportedly EXPLODED, screaming:
Whoa! Mel Gibson is getting jacked!
And, now we know how!
He was spotted at a hormone replacement center in El Lay, dropping LOADS of cash on expensive medication and procedures to keep his body in tip-top shape!
If you've been wondering how the 57 year old man stays so bulky, well, part of the answer comes in a bottle — and the other part comes in a pod! You see, he also spent some time in a high tech 'pod' that copies the effects of high altitude training while he was at the center! It does this by providing rhythmic changes to air pressure, temperature and density.
A lot of famous people and famous athletes will AT LEAST use that magic future pod thing, and there doesn't seem to be any real downside. Especially because their wallets seem to just fill right back up anyway!
[Image via WENN.]
Mel Gibson has officially been hired for The Expendables 3, joining Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger as they grasp on screen for their younger days as action movie heroes.
And we CAN'T WAIT!
Says Sly, who co-wrote the movie:
There's about to be a Die Hard vs. Rocky cage match…in the Twitterverse!
Sylvester Stallone is dissing his Expendables co-star Bruce Willis, and reveals that the actor is totes getting booted from the movie's third installment!
Sylvesty explained his ALL CAPS excitement, Tuesday, in a series of tweets:
Mel Gibson gets his crazy eyes on playing the arms dealer villain in the new Machete Kills trailer.
The star-studded sequel to Machete, this movie promises to have everything you could possibly want from a sequel to Machete: nuclear missiles, explosions, and what appears to be the Swiss Army Knife version of the titular machete.
Speaking of "titular," Sofia Vergara plays one of Mel's super soldiers sent to kill Machete. Her weapons of choice? Machine gun breasts, or as Austin Powers might call them, "machine gun jubblies!"
Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen plays the President, who wakes up to a call in the beginning of the trailer sleeping with 3
strippers women. LOL! Bet he had to do a lot of character research for that!
And of course the trailer is filled with classic lines from Danny Trejo's Machete, including one that will probably make AFI's Top Movie Quote list:
"Machete don't tweet."
But does Machete Vine or Instagram? Because we'd follow him in a heart beat!
Mel Gibson sure seems to know What Women Want!
The veteran actor loves nothing more than to spend time with his little lady Lucia, and he decided to let his girlfriend Nadia Lanfranconi in on the fun as the trio spent the day at a playground in Malibu!
He also made sure that his daughter wasted NO energy and saved all of her strength for playtime by letting her ride in his shoulders as they made their grand entrance!
Mel definitely seems to be enjoying his latest lead role as a proud papa with his little costar, and from what we've seen, he definitely deserves a nomination for Best Dad!
Keep up the good work, Mel! We LOVE this new direction UR taking!
[Image via YOGI/AKM-GSI.]