Monday morning, while promoting his craptastic, money-grubbing, Z-list boxing event against Johnny Fairplay, Michael Lohan was asked who he would most like to punch in the face.
His answer? "Perez Hilton."
Like we haven't heard that before!
But, what an example he is setting for his kids!
Of course, being in and out of jail so much, he never really was much of a father to begin with. Does Lindsay even acknowledge his existence anymore?
Hmmm, don't think so!
Well, we have a little message back to you, Mikey. How about you take some of that rage out in an anger management class, instead of the ring. Sounds a little more constructive.
Click here to listen to the tool hate on us on Sports Rage Uncensored with Gabriel Morency on Hardcore Sports Radio (SIRIUS 98).
Michael Lohan can breathe a little easier as the aggravated harassment charges filed against him back in April have just been dropped.
Papa Lohan was arrested after it was claimed that he threatened to kill on-and-off fiancee Erin Muller when she tried to end things over the phone.
Michael now says: "The charges against me regarding Erin were dismissed yesterday. It just goes to show you how the police and press… twist things and make things into something they aren't, especially when the Lohans or any public figures are involved. There was a third party involved in this, that the police or press never mentioned. When I found out what he was up to, he went to the police with Erin before I could go to the police on him. As I said, the case was never about threatening Erin or myself, but how someone lied about me to protect their own hide. I thank God that my attorney, Tony Grandinette (and) Erin's lawyer, Ben Potrofsky… saw that."
And what about the nuptials? Are they still on?
He says, "It's on! Date and location being determined."
"Dr. Drew has what it takes to help anyone that has any kind of problem. It doesn't have to be drugs, it doesn't have to be alcohol, it can be any kind of emotional or psychological problem. She's out there drinking and partying and she should not be doing that. People see her drinking. She should stay away from it. With the drugs, I think she's in a much better place than she used to be. But I have a problem with her being even on prescription medication."
Considering that Dr. Drew publicly spoke about Lindz and she retaliated back, we're not too sure how likely it'll be that Lindsay would join Celebrity Rehab or even seek help from him. Though reports do claim that Dr. Drew and the show's producers have offered LaLohan over six figures to appear on an upcoming season.
Somehow, if that were true, we think she'd have already signed on.
How do Z-list celebrities blow off steam after they can no longer live off their kid's careers, get off the island, and are out of jail for the time being?
A celebrity boxing match, of course.
In one corner, Michael Lohan, father of celebutard (and possibly engaged) Lindsay Lohan. And in the other corner, Survivor douche Johnny Fairplay.
According to a press release, the men finally met at the official press conference for the fight and things did not go so smoothly. Fairplay did not let up on the LezLo jokes while Lohan warned Fairplay that it was about time they duked it out in the ring.
They will battle for the vacant Celebrity Boxing Federation Welterweight Title on June 20th as part of Celebrity Boxing 9: Survival.
Our money is on Fairplay. Dude plays dirty and the Lohans tend to be pansies!
Who do U think will win this irrelevant sporting event?
As we mentioned yesterday, daddy-of-the-year Michael Lohan was arrested last month for threatening to kill his fiancee, Erin Muller, and threatening to kill himself if she ever left him.
Talk about being co-dependent!
But leave it to Daddy Lohan to deny, deny, deny. The 49-year-old Lohan has pleaded not guilty in a Long Island court. A rep for the Suffolk County D.A. claims Michael "allegedly called Erin Muller on the telephone and stated in sum and substance that he would kill her and himself if Erin Muller left him."
Lohan is fighting back, claiming that "by no means did I threaten to cause harm to Erin or myself… As a matter of fact, Erin even told the court that she didn't want to pursue anything. It's all going to be dropped."
We hope he didn't tell her to drop it and not pursue anything or he'd kill her. Just sayin'!
So, just what happened then? How did these allegations come to light?
According to Lohan, "A person she thought was her friend violated her in a way that I don't want to describe. When I found out the truth it didn't sit well with me. It's all going to be dropped. It's an example of how people twist things."
Oh, and what's a Michael interview without a reference to daughter Lindsay Lohan? He adds, "If Sam does come back in her life, it is all going to go downhill."
Well, it's no wonder now where Lindsay Lohan gets her crazy antics from.
It seems that daddy Michael Lohan doesn't take too kindly to break ups either!
Back in April, Poppa Lohan was arrested for threatening to kill fiancée Erin Muller and himself when she tried to leave him. Had he only threatened to kill himself, no one would have been arrested.
Upon showing up to court and spotting Post reporter Kieran Crowley and photographer Dennis Clark, Lohan's lawyer shouted to initiate "Plan two," which consisted of Lohan and Muller hiding in the car while the lawyer did all the work.
MLohan is due in court today to explain some missing child support to the tune of $12,000.
After all, Momma probably needs a new nose and an eight ball to go with it!
Lindsay Lohan's house almost got broken into, but luckily the thief thieves ran away when the alarm went off.
Police then arrived to find the place trashed, though fortunately it was Lindsay who trashed it as she doesn't seem to have a housekeeper. She did manage to catch the douchebag on her security camera, though.
But what's a Lindsanity event without Daddy Michael Lohan chiming in with his own two cents?
Michael took the time to comment on the whole situation and mentioned how he believed the thief was saMAN someone close to Lindsay. He's also vowed to help the police catch the potential burglar.
Cause he's so good at detective work?
Poppa Lohan says, "I was on the phone with the police department in Hollywood today. This is disgusting because someone knew that Lindsay's in France with my daughter Ali right now - someone knew Lindsay was leaving the country and obviously it was someone close to her. I'm gonna find out who this person is and he's gonna have major problems."
As we mentioned earlier, Lindsay Lohan made a spastic guest appearance on Ellen DeGeneres' talk show today.
And the pAArty girl had a lot to say!
When Ellen asked her if she'd ever cheated on SaMAN Ronson, Lindsanity responded with, "I don't believe in cheating on someone… I watched my father do that to my mother my entire life, so I really don't."
Burn!
But leave it to mediawhore Michael Lohan to come back quickly with his own lies remarks.
So what's daddy of the year think of the cheating accusations?
According to Michael's statement, he says "It disturbs me that she still continues to take the focus off of herself and accuse me of cheating on her mother when I only did so when Dina and I were separated."
Inneresting. Wonder which of the two is lying?
Probably both!
Poppa LOL goes on and on and adds that "I truly believe that if she involves the right people in her life and does the right thing, her life and career will be back in order and come to even higher levels than it has before."
Well, we give him some credit there. She definitely needs to have better people in her life and get rid of the trash.
But what's a Michael Lohan comment without a reference to God?
Daddy Loco continues, "I love her, I have faith in her and I know God is working in her life. I'm happy to see that she is getting back on the right track!"
