When Nick Stahl did the world the disservice of decongesting his clogged man-pipes in public, we wondered why the troubled actor couldn't just tend to his masturbatory duties at home like the rest of us?
Was the Terminator 3 star's computer in the shop? Is he downloading porn on a dial-up?!
It turns out we weren't the only curious kittens worried about his well-being!
Bangyoulater.com offered Nick a free iPad so he might attend to his "private business in a tranquil setting."
Ha! We're guessing Bangyoulater is a porn site and not a online drum warehouse, but who cares?! A free iPad is a free iPad!
Plus, don't those things come with GPS!? That could come in handy next time Nick gets lost!
[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]
Tags: bangyoulater, ipad, legal matters, masturbation, misdemeanor, nick stahl, pornography, terminator 3, wacky tacky true
There. Are. No. Words.
When Octo-mom can't keep illicit videos she starred in out of the hands of her preteen kids, something is very very wrong!
According to former nanny Gina Bryson, at least one of Octo's children watched their mom's well-publicized masturbation video!
UGH!! We sincerely hope these revolting allegations are unfounded!
Gina told the Orange County Dept. of Children and Family Services that Octo, a.k.a. Nadya Suleman, came crying to her one day after her 11 year-old son watched her sex tape on
Tags: child protective services, disgusting, disturbing, gina bryson, icky icky poo, legal matters, masturbation, nadya sulemen, octomom, parenting, pornography, sad sad
Masturbation, eh? We're intrigued! Please continue. Ha!
Ben Affleck stopped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on Monday to promote his newest movie, Argo. Like The Town, he also stars in the flick, so Fallon couldn't help but ask what that was like to juggle the two roles.
Affleck came back with the most inneresting of answers, saying:
“It’s a little bit like masturbation, Jimmy. You gotta know what you want. You know what I mean? Where you're going. It’s intuitive.”
Wow! Directing movies has never sounded so easy. LOLz!
Watch him make the dirty joke (above) and then check out the rest of the interview … AFTER THE JUMP!!!
Tags: argo, ben affleck, comparison, directing, director, dirty joke, funny, highlarious, interview, jimmy fallon, lols, masturbation, movie
50 Cent is a lot of things:
Rapper, actor, entrepreneur, businessman and spokesman to name a few — but did you know he gives sex advice too?
After labeling masturbation as "a sin" on Twitter, 50 decided to help out all of his followers with step-by-step directions to quit the habit once and for all!
The list is as follows:
Tags: 50 cent, funny, lols, masturbation, rapper, sex, sin, strange, tweet, twitter
…In a manner of speaking, she was!
Remember the naked, self-diddling super fan who allegedly broke into Bam Margera's Pennsylvania home to sexually assault him in the midst of a midnight slumber?
It turns out this wasn't the unnamed assailant's first encounter with Bam's wood after all!! She had actually been living in it for weeks!
See, Bam has an epically awesome gigantic treehouse on his property — you may have seen it in the casino episode of Viva La Bam!
crazed unstable lady who reportedly tickled her taco while waiting for police to come and arrest her was actually living in Bam's treehouse for weeks before
Tags: bam margera, burglary, crazy, criminal trespass, legal matters, masturbation, stalker, viva la bam
When Octo-Mom's bills were piling up she discussed with the Orange County Child Protective Services the possibility of her working in a adult movie as one viable option of supporting her children.
To her dismay - the social workers agreed and told her to go for it!!!
Here's what she said:
“They’re on my side–they’re supporters. It’s ironic. Once I talked with a CPS worker in regards to the adult stuff, she was like, ‘Are you really doing that?’ Well, it’s not illegal. More power to you!’ So it was almost like a green light–like, ‘Do what you need to do to take care of your family.’ They were supportive. It was funny.”
Although we don't think Octo-Mom is using the word ironic correctly here - we do agree that the situation in itself is funny.
But hey times are tough and there's really not a lot of room for judging these days.
Especially when you have such a large family to feed!
[Image via Twitter/Octo-Mom.]
Tags: dysfunctional family, masturbation, octomom, porn
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Showbiz is hard and it looks like Fred Willard may have blown it. For now, at least.
Following PBS' lead, ABC has decided to pull the remaining two episodes of the comedian's improv show, Trust Us With Your Life, and replace them with more Wipeout.
The network says the decision has nothing to do with the lewd conduct charge that the show's host received two weeks ago, but it looks like he had no idea the cancellation was coming. Just last week he tweeted:
Tags: abc, arrested, fred willard, jimmy fallon, lewd conduct, masturbation, movie theater, pbs, porn, trust us with your life