John Mayer And Kristin Cavallari Did NOT Hook Up

John Mayer did as all good celebrities do and took to his Twitter last night to address the rumors that he’s been hooking up with Kristin Cavallari for the past two years.

Mayer tweets:

“Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman…I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis.”

“I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.”

“My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”

“I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.”

Oh, that John Mayer, SUCH a comedian.

And Maniston breathes a sigh of relief!

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[Image via WENN.]