Years before she corrupted the world with songs about kissing girls and having self worth, Katy Perry was suspended for corrupting her fellow classmates at Santa Barbara Christian School.
The pop superstar was sharing some of her old memories on her Instagram Stories Sunday when she came across a hilarious suspension letter detailing some of the “inappropriate behavior” she was caught doing by the faculty.
These ungodly acts included wearing crop tops, exotically dancing to the Macarena, calling 3rd graders “brats,” and encouraging her fellow students to indulge in games like Truth or Dare and Spin the bottle.
Related: So… JonBenet ISN’T Really Katy Perry??
Then came the worst indecency of them all: one day during recess, young Katy was in an “*off-limits* area” humping a tree — pretending it was Tom Cruise! Ha!
Read the entire suspension report (below) to see just how incorrigible this budding performer was as a young schoolgirl:
“Santa Barbara Christian School
Student: Katy Hudson
Reasons For Suspension: Inappropriate Behavior
Comments: At the 2:00 p.m. recess, Katy and four other students were in an *off-limits* area (behind the backboards) practicing a skit. Katy pretended that a tree was Tom Cruise and began making sexual motions (“pelvic thrusts”) to the tree. When Katy met with Mrs. Calkins, Mr. White, and myself, she was asked to describe or demonstrate what she had been seen doing in the playground in front of some other students. Katy chose to describe it. Her words were “it was inappropriate” and “like making out.” This suspension comes after several incidents and a clear warning in a previous conference. On October 17, she was called into my office to discuss her use of inappropriate language (“pisssed off” and calling 3rd graders “brats”) and using the Lord’s name in vain (saying, “oh my God”). She had also admitted being previously involved in playing “Spin the Bottle” and “Truth or Dare” which resulted in students kissing on the cheek. She was told then that any more inappropriate behavior would result in a suspension.
Katy was seen by 2 teachers recently outside their classrooms doing the Macarena dance in which she made body motions with sexual overtones (described by one teacher as being “like an exotic dancer”).
Katy has been cited twice for wearing “crop tops” with her bare midriff showing. Mrs. Hudson has assured me that these won’t be worn again.”
Sounds about right!
What did Katy do when she found this report? Make her mortified mom read the whole thing, obviously:
Clearly, the pop star did not learn her lesson… and the world couldn’t be more grateful.
[Image via Jean-Charles Vinaj/News Pictures/Mario Mitsis/WENN]
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