Last night, Nick Canon stopped by The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien to talk his show, America's Got Talent, and his woman, Mariah Carey.

Watch (above) and see how he prattles on about how he made his marriage happen just by believing.

He neglects to mention that really, he's just super fortunate Mariah has a thing for dorky losers!

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As a favor to her hubby, Nick Cannon, who just happens to be the host of America's Got Talent, Mariah Carey performed on the show last night.

Mimi sang her latest single Obsessed, but there was something off about it all.

The performance was very reminiscent of Britney's VMA gig back in 2007: dull, disappointing and down-right awful.

Watch her performance (above) and tell us what U think.

Try not to fall asleep watching it!

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He promised and he delivered…kinda!

In response to Eminem's damning song The Warning about wife Mariah, Nick Cannon Tweeted that a possible strategic plan was brewing.

Instead, we think he must have been reading Bartlett's all day because he bombarded the Twitterverse with a mass amount of quotes within 30 minutes.

Cannon Tweeted:

"Victorious warriors win first then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win"

"But let's not get it twisted. If you feeling froggish, leap!! Y'all know where to find me… Nick@nickcannon.com Holla at me directly!"

"Changing the world one hater at a time!"

"Those who feed into negativity must examine there purpose on this earth"

"I will permit no man to narrow or degrade my soul by making me hate him"

"Be patient in the moment of anger and escape a hundred days of sorrow!"

"I will bless those that bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse." Genesis 12:3

"Never take your own revenge, but rather give place unto the wrath. For it is written vengeance is mine, I will repay… PREACH!"

"When there are no enemies within the enemies outside can not hurt you!"

Quote of the day: "Never argue with fools because from a distance people cant tell who is who"

Ignoring him would be better than this!

Pretty weak, Cannon!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Earlier today we told you about Eminem lashing out at Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon in his newest song, The Warning.

Well, Nick Cannon is planning his next move, declaring via Twitter that "This ain't checkers. This is chess." 

Wonder what Mariah's boytoy has up his sleeve?!

PS: CLICK HERE to follow Perez on Twitter and get cool updates from our trip in Japan next week!

[Image via WENN.]

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Damn!

He went there. He really went there!

Eminem has just released a track called The Warning, completely eviscerating Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.

He claims to have naked pictures of Mimi, which he threatens to release, and he calls Nick the F word, amongst other things.

He's dropping bombs!

Listen to the song and read the lyrics (below).

The Warning by Eminem

Only reason I dissed you in the first place, is cause you denied seeing me
Now I’m pissed off
Sit back homey, relax, in fact grab a six pack
Kick back while I kick facts
Yeah Dre’s sick track, perfect way to get back
Wanna hear something wick wack?
I got the exact same tat that’s on Nick’s back
I’m obsessed now
Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee
Wow Mariah, I didn’t expect her to go balls out
Bitch, shut the fuck up before I put all them phone calls out you made to my house when you was wild n out before Nick
When you was on my dick and give you somethin to smile about
How many times you fly to my house? Still trying to count
Better shut your lying mouth if you don’t want Nick finding out
You probably think cuz it’s been so long if I had something on you I woulda did it by now
Oh on the contrary, Mary Poppins, I’m mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud
Enough dirt on you to murder you
This is what the fuck I do
Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?
However you prefer to do and that goes for you Nick too, faggot
You think I’m scared of you?
You gonna ruin my career you better get one
Like I’ma sit and fight with you over some slut bitch cunt who made me put up with her psycho ass over 6 months and only spread her legs to let me hit once
Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky? Tell the public that I was so ugly that you fucking had to be drunk to fuck me?
Second base? What the fuck you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we were dry humping. It’s gotta count for something
Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early cause I ejaculated prematurely and bust all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.
But if I’m embarrassing me, I’m embarrassing you and don’t you dare say it isn’t true
As long as the song’s getting airplay I’m dissing you
I’m a hair away from getting carried away and getting sued
I was gonna stop at 16. That was 32. This is 34 bars. We ain’t even a third of the way through
Damn, Slim. Mariah played you. Mariah who?
Oh did I say ”whore”, Nick? I meant a liar too
Like I’ve been goin off on you all this time for no reason
Girl you out ya alcholic mind. Check ya wine cellar. Look at the amounts of all the wine
Like I fucking sit around and think about you all the time
I just think this shit is funny when I pounce you on a rhyme
But fuck it now I’m about to draw the line
And for you to cross it that’s a mountain that I doubt you wanna climb
I can describe areas of your house you wouldn’t find on an episode of Cribs
A blow below the ribs if I hear another word so don’t go opening your jibs cause every time you do it’s just another load of fibs
I ain’t saying this shit again, ho. You know what it is.
It’s a warning shot before I blow up ya whole spot
Call my bluff and I’ll release every fucking thing I got
Including the voicemails right before you flipped your top
When me and Luis were tryin’ to stick two CD’s in the same spot
(Slim Shady ….. I love you)
I love you too
Let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear, boo. Now what you say?
(It’s nothing)
Yes and what I'll do is refresh your memory when you said "I want you"
Now should I keep going or should we call truce?
(You think you’re cute, right? Hahaha)
You bet your sweet ass I do
(I’m Mary Poppins, B)
And I’m Superman, mmm
(Mary P. Slim Shady)
Comin’ at you
So if you’ll still be my (babygirl)
Then I’ll still be your (Superhero, Wilma M.)
Yeah, I’m right here
(You like this)
Nope. Not anymore, Dear.
It cuts like a (knife) when I tell ya get a (life)
But I’m movin on with mine
Nick, is that your (wife)
Well tell her to shut her mouth then I’ll leave her alone
If she don’t (sing this script) then I’ma just keep goin
(I see Mary Ann. Mary Ann’s saying "cut the tape, cut the tape". Knife!)

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If you didn't like Mariah Carey before, you might now. Seems the talented diva has a touch of common sense in her.

And she's not shy to let you know she wants you gone!

Turns out Mariah didn't want to be anywhere near Chris Brown during a private reception that was held at the Beverly Wilshire hotel last week after Michael Jackson's memorial.

Sources tell the Enquirer that Brown tried to sit next to Miz Diva but she quickly told the douchebag that she would rather he sit at a different table.

You go, Mimi!

Brown was probably hoping people would think he was down with Mimi.

Now he just looks like a bigger girlfriend-beating fool!

[Image via WENN.]

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Earlier this year we joked that Mariah Carey must have promised the producers of America's Got Talent something big in order for them to choose her hubby Nick Cannon as the new host.

And it looks like we were right!

It's just been announced that Mimi is scheduled to perform on the first results show for America's Got Talent, which airs on August 5th.

And as an added bonus, producers will be airing her new single, Obsessed, on tonight's show. That's not really a "bonus" though - the song is majorly mediocre.

Let's hope for a good performance at least!

Then again, Mimoo has never been known for her live performances!

[Image via WENN.]

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The DTV switchover seems to have destroyed television viewership for the summer!

The premiere of NBC's America's Got Talent was #1 in the ratings on Tuesday night, but the staggering 11.3 million viewers is a 14% drop from last season's premiere.

Yikes!

Producers were hoping to bank on SuBo's success with Britain's Got Talent as a draw for US viewers, but no such luck. Critics panned the premiere for not having a "Susan Boyle moment."

Even swapping Jerry Springer out for Nick Cannon as host didn't help boost the figures!

I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here's viewership also dramatically dropped on Tuesday night with 4.3 million viewers; the lowest rated episode of the entire season.

Maybe it's time for NBC execs to stop recycling old ideas!

[Image via WENN.]

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Mariah Carey and her bitch husband Nick Cannon attended the The Fresh Air Fund Salute to American Heroes at Tavern on the Green in NYC on Thursday,

She looks damn good in that dress!!!!

Mooriah Mimi's got curves that just don't quit!

[Image via WENN.]

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