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Man Awakens To His Dog Eating His Testicle!!

Filed under: InjuryScary!Dog

Little white dog

An Arkansas man awoke one morning to every man's worst nightmare…

His dog was eating one of his testicles!!

The man is paralyzed and has no feeling from the waist down.

Around 7:45am on Monday morning he was jarred awake by a "burning pain" in his mid-section.

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Jamie Oliver's Rare Black Swan MURDERED By A Fox!

Filed under: Sad SadTwitterFoxesJamie OliverBirds

This is so SAD! One of Jamie Oliver's rare black swans was murdered by a fox!!

We know animals can't technically murder other animals, but this is different.

The fox didn't kill it for the meat or anything!

Jamie posted a disturbing pic to Instagram and wrote:

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Vegan Diet Can Help Your Man Parts!

Filed under: HealthVivacious Vegs

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Is your spritz on the fritz? Trying switching diets!

Along with the dog, vegans believe a meat-free diet is man's best friend…especially when it comes to love making.

As vegan diets don't lead to heart disease, the blood flow is free to flow everywhere…including the penis.

So what are some foods that make great aphrodisiacs?

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The Monster Shark Tournament Has Begun

Filed under: Sad SadShark

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The Monster Shark Tournament takes place in Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts every year.

It's a very controversial event because

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New Species Of Lizard Discovered!

Filed under: Science!lizards

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Researchers in the Andes have discovered a brand new lizard species.

It is a semi-aquatic reptile, named Potamites montanicola and it can grow to about 2.5 inches long.

Lizards aren't warm blooded, so they need a heat source, like the sun, a warm rock, or warm animal, to warm their blood and stay alive.

What is confusing scientists is that these lizards somehow are surviving in the cold Andes mountains.

After researchers spotted only one and they realized that it looked so different from other species in the area that it might be a new species, so they began an immediate search.

A researcher said:

"During the day we didn't find any, but at night we found several individuals, males and females, running and swimming in the stream.

That was a great moment for us."

They have found and photographed them but they still need to answer the question of how the lizards can survive when the mountain temperature drops to about 50 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit at night.

For now, all we can say is, welcome to the world of classified species, Potamites montanicola.

[Image courtesy Germán Chávez.]

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Battle Of The Elephant Seals!

Filed under: SealCrazzzzy

A bull elephant seal is also called a beachmaster.

That is probably because if another bull elephant seal tries to come near his section of beach, or his harem of female seals, he will violently defend it.

During mating season, a fight can break out as often as 5 times a week!

Check out the above video to watch an epic beach battle.

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Ozzy Osbourne Wrecked Hotel Room With Dead Shark

Filed under: Music MinuteOzzy OsbourneSharkCrazzzzy

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Tony Iommi, the former guitarist for Ozzy's old band, Black Sabbath, has released his memoirs.

In it, he describes that at the height of their partying and rocking out, the drugs just didn't cut it anymore.

He said:

"With drugs always you get bored, so you must do something to one another. Like Ozzy hauling a shark through a window, dismembering it and soaking our room in blood."

Gross.

The guitarist goes on to talk about his how his own life was affected by all the drugs and rock and roll, saying:

"We had management problems, I married four times. Was a lousy husband. I suddenly didn't feel good, so I stopped drugs. No rehab.

I'm a country squire, I live on a farm with dogs and chickens. All I want is to work. I'm dedicated to working. Listen, I've set up equipment inside an enormous dungeon in a huge castle in Wales. And worked. I felt creative."

He still talks with Ozzy pretty regularly, saying:

"I talk to Ozzy couple times a week. He's up, down. I love him, although his attention span lasts three seconds."

Sure sounds like the Oz man to us. Good thing he stopped all that gross "animal business" (remember the bat?) back in the 80s.

We forgive you.

[Image via Judy Eddy/WENN.]

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