The San Francisco Zoo came up with an ingenious way to drum up business, help animals and provide scorned lovers with some revenge without all the bad karma.
This Valentine’s Day, you can now adopt a hissing cockroach or a giant, hairy scorpion in “honor” of an awful ex!
Sure, we’d all love to send a spring-loaded box of steaming tiger poo to our evil ex-lovers, but who can afford that much flaming poop?? LOLz!
[ Related: North West Is All Smiles At The Zoo!! ]
Now, you can get revenge without being an evil poop mailer! The zoo is now allowing people to “adopt” their less cute animals.
Normally, a person could “adopt” a lion or panda or something and they’d donate money for the care of that animal. But now they’ve got gross options for gross people, describing the scorpion as:
“So the latest affair didn’t work out and given your ex’s record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It’s no surprise, these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or “caves.” Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding. Charming.”
Sooooo funny!! What a great idea!
They also describe the adopt-a-cockroach option, saying:
“Nothing says “I’ve moved on” like adopting a giant cuddly cockroach in the name of your favorite ex. This Valentine’s Day, if you care enough to send the very best, you’ll choose our charming Madagascar Hissing Cockroach package. The Madagascar hissing cockroach is believed to be the only insect that can hiss. They are excellent climbers and can scale smooth glass, therefore popping up in the most unexpected locations. The hissing cockroach is one of the largest species of cockroach, reaching 2├óΓé¼ΓÇ£4 inches at maturity, but as we all know, some cockroaches just never seem to grow up. […] And with a little luck, this generous donation will release your bad love life karma so that you never have to encounter a cockroach again.”
Ha!! Hilarious!
So for only $50, (which you can spend HERE) a donor will have an adoption certificate and plush scorpion toy (or cockroach toys) sent to the person of their choice.
What a great way to tell someone they’re a total roach but also help some of this beautiful planet’s wonderful creatures too!
Which creature would U prefer to adopt?? Let us know below!!
[Image via SF Zoo.]
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