American Horror Story: Roanoke Serves Up Evil Pork, Disembowlement, & Lady GaGa Sex Spells! Get Our Recap!
Things might be slightly coming together on American Horror Story: Roanoke, but unfortunately some of its characters are falling apart!
The latest chapter of the FX horror anthology was full of scares, shocks, and more Lady GaGa — and it ended in one of the goriest AHS deaths yet!
Things didn’t kick off smoothly for Shelby (Sarah Paulson), who started the hour having just witnessed her husband Matt (Cuba Gooding Jr.) blindly having sex with some witchy woman in the woods (GaGa).
Shelby tried to forget about the outdoorsy illusion by taking a shower, but was immediately faced with a killer wearing a gross pig head (is that you, Evan Peters?) who came at her with a knife.
Matt heroically entered to yell the season’s safe word “Croatoa,” but the real hero was previous homeowner Professor Elias Cunningham (Denis O’Hare), who axed Mr. Pig Head just in time to save poor Shelby.
Elias, who appeared in video footage in a previous episode, gave some real backstory on the colonists haunting Matt and Shelby’s house. Unfortunately, the new ally didn’t last too much longer after that — and shortly after got three arrows fired into his chest by the ghost clan.
While Lee (Angela Bassett) was being questioned by police over the disappearance of her daughter Flora, Matt and Shelby returned to the house to find Cricket (Leslie Jordan) awaiting their return. The eccentric psychic unpacked even more history about Roanoke and gave much needed info on GaGa’s Witch character, who is clearly a LOT more dressed down than her glamorous stint on Hotel.
Cricket made a deal with the Witch, offering up Matt to get information on how to get Flora back. The Witch revealed that the house is the site of the lost colony of Roanoke, a group of settlers who very regularly practiced human sacrifice.
After ordering The Butcher (Kathy Bates) to poison her entire colony, the Witch revealed she killed The Butcher and effectively made the colony disappear. Try to find that in your history textbooks!
While waiting for Cricket to return from his hotel, Matt was drawn down to the cellar to find The Witch, who had come to seduce him and collect Cricket’s promise. Aside from setting the mood with candles and ambient lighting, Matt also clearly had some type of spell put on him — because he didn’t resist having sex with the enchanting woman. Sorry, Shelby!
As Cricket returned to the house from his hotel, the Roanoke ghosts show up with Flora. The Butcher insisted they sacrifice her, but Flora’s new ghost BFF Priscilla convinced The Butcher to sacrifice someone else…
This group decision was BAD news for Cricket, who soon found himself surrounded by the pitchfork-wielding ghostly lynch mob, and was disemboweled in one of the most graphic AHS scenes yet!
Wow, this really is one DRAMATIC reenactment (… OR IS IT!?).
[Image via FX.]