Lie-Telling Lindsay: "I don't drink, I don't do drugs!"

You know, we think we might have misjudged our Lindsay Lohan. She’s actually a brilliant actress!
Speaking with E! News, Lindsay portrays someone sober, honest, and free of drama, saying, “I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!
She added, “I move forward and I change. Life’s too short not to. If people would just leave my personal life alone├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥because it’s really not that interesting├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥then I could land a great role. But all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting.”
Maybe if you quit acting a fool and maintained some semblance of a serious career, we could take you more seriously!
Continuing to play her character, Lindsay said, “I’d like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc…. It’s all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be.”
She concluded her monologue by saying, “It would be really nice if people would believe in me.”
And then the folks over at E! gave a warm round of applause as Lindsay bowed and exited stage right.
[Image via WENN.]