In what's probably the most exciting thing she has ever done in her life, Nick Lachey's girlfriend, Vanessa Minnillo, was caught canoodling with 90210's Matt Lanter!

Vanessa you're doing it wrong!

If you want attention you're supposed to either get a DUI and/or get pregnant and/or flash your vagina!

Even your scandal is snooze-inducing!

[Image via WENN.]

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It's the curse of Joe Simpson!

After successfully destroying daughter Jessica Simpson's music career, Papa Joe is extending his reach to former son-in-law Nick Lachey, who is reportedly on the rocks with longtime girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo and floundering for a comeback.

According to a source, "They argue all the time, and Nick is done with her. He feels like she’s holding him back, careerwise."

And it's true…we haven't seen much of Lachey lately, although people are quick to defend his last single, Patience, which has performed lukewarm on the adult contemporary charts to a No. 39 position on Billboard's Hot Adult Top 40.

What is "Hot Adult" anyway?!

Friends are saying that Lachey needs some sort of mainstream pop hit in order to launch a career comeback, and that in order to do so, he's gotta ditch Minnillo, especially since "The relationship has been over for a while, but he’s too nice a guy to end things completely."

Of course, their respective mouthpieces are playing dumb, saying that as far as they know, everything is fine.

Ditch her Nick!

[Image via WENN.]

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Despite having a girlfriend that looks like poo poo dribbles and persistent rumors of having relationship problems, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are still together.

The "happy couple" was spotted Monday grabbing some lunch at the Beverly Glenn Deli near Los Angeles.

We're surprised the two of them are still together, really. Not as surprised that don't really have any careers!

[Image via Ability Films.]

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Are they already over?

Last November, we mentioned that there was buzz going around that Nick Lachey's girlfriend, former MTV host Vanessa Minnillo, was allegedly up to all sorts of no good around town and that their romance was on the rocks.

Well, some stuff went down this Super Bowl weekend which makes us wonder if they're even still together.

According to the NY Daily News, Minnillo was supposed attend Nick's “Super Skins” party on Friday night in Tampa, but the wannabe actress failed to appear at the last minute.

A snitch commented, “No one knew what happened [with Vanessa]. She just didn’t show. We’re not even sure if she came to Tampa.”

Her absence apparently didn't bug Nick one bit. Lachey was spotted boarding a private yacht at 2am with a gaggle of ladies.

One not enough, Nick?

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Uhmmmm…..

What the fuckity fuck is wrong with her face????

Looks like the couple that no one really cares about is still together.

On New Year's Eve, Nick Lachey and that tranny of a mess, Vanessa Minnillo, were spotted celebrating at the Fontainebleau Hotel's LIV nightclub in Miami Beach.

But, seriously, what's wrong with Vanessa???

It looks like she had her face sucked to Nick's ass for about an hour before this picture was taken!

[Image via WENN.]

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We know no one really cares about these D-listers but…

We're hearing that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are going through "a very rough patch."

And, sources say they wouldn't be surprised to hear a breakup announcement very soon.

P.S. Vanessa's been a very naughty girl!

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Seriously.

Who is Nick Lachey bangin' at ABC?

They are the only people who seem to give him work, and it's just been announced that his lady friend, Vanessa Minnillo, will be hosting a new reality show for the alphabet TV network.

The serial vacationer Minnillo is set to host a reality beauty pageant show called True Beauty.

The trashtastic series "will determine the 'True Beauty' of six stunning females and four handsome males who will live together in a spectacular Los Angeles mansion as they undergo a series of challenges to determine who is truly the most beautiful."

Boring!

Ashton Kutcher and Tyty Banks are the show's executive producers.

That's why it sounds so shiteous!

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Ok, Vanessa Minnillo is officially lacking any brains. But that's not exactly a surprise, now is it?

During a recent interview with In Touch Weekly, the "actress" spoke about her career and her desire to win an Oscar.

Hah!

Seriously!

Says MiMoron, "My goal is to be acting and winning an Oscar."

We can't believe she said that with a straight face!!!

She added, "I want to be an actress with an Oscar and babies."

Is she delusional???

Her career highlights include MTV's TRL, fucking Nick Lachey and that shiteous Epic Movie. No one even saw that shitfest!

Oh, and who does Minnillo want to be like?

Julia Roberts, of course.

Minnillo adds, "She's phenomenal! I would love to be just like her."

Good look trying…and failing!

P.S. You'll have better luck winning an AVN award for your future work in porn!

[Image via WENN.]

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For the four of you that still care about these D-listers…..

The National Enquirer is reporting that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are on the verge of breaking up.

Finally!

They've supposedly been in a 'break up-make up' cycle for months. Nick is apparently sick of Minnillo pressuring him to put a ring on her finger and give her babies, among other things.

We think that's what she wanted from the first moment they hooked up!

Nick, didn't you see that, too?

Vanessa's career post-TRL has gone NOWHERE. Girlfriend's become all sorts of desperate!

The Enquirer goes on to report that their issues were "on public display" at the end of last month at LA's popular celeb hangout, Katsuya. According to an eyewitness, they “sat in stone silence for more than 30 minutes after having what appeared to be an argument. As they left that night, Vanessa was in tears sitting next to Nick who was gripping the steering wheel of the car.”

Another source wouldn't be shocked if "Nick is sick of her." At a birthday bash for basketball star Baron Davis, Vanessa “had a good bit to drink, and she turned into a bitchy high school drama queen.” The source goes on to say that 'Nessa was totally rude to some people and then flirted with a bunch of athletes, hung all over other guys, rude to fans who wanted her autograph and spent half the evening sneering at other female guests.

Sounds like someone was trying to get her boyfriend jealous. Grow up!

If the Enquirer is truly on to something, more dramz will be heading our way.

Juicy!

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