Ariana Madix got real about secretly struggling behind the scenes of Vanderpump Rules when she first joined the cast in 2013.
During an appearance on the Scheananigans with Scheana Shay podcast Friday, the 36-year-old television personality and co-star Scheana Shay looked back on how far they have come since the start of VPR. When recalling the physical changes she has experienced over the years, Madix shared that she has “grown in size” — and revealed that’s because she actually began the series with an eating disorder. She said:
“I’ve grown in literal size, but I don’t care as much. I started the show, I feel like, with, like, a full-blown eating disorder.”
Although the Bravolebrity has since worked through her eating disorder, she admitted that those unhealthy thoughts towards food still pop up from time to time:
“I feel like I have some tendencies toward disordered eating, but at least I’m more now conscious of it and will fight against it to be healthy. Whereas in the past I was just like, ‘Just don’t eat, just don’t eat,’ and that was bad.”
This is the first time that Madix has opened up about her eating disorder. However, she has been honest about her struggles with depression in previous seasons of the Bravo reality show. The Fancy AF Cocktails author candidly confessed at one point during an episode in season 8:
“Honestly, I just want to f**king get in my car and drive away and never come back and never see anyone. And just like start a new life on a f**king olive farm or something, I don’t know. … I want to leave my life.”
But now, Madix noted on the podcast that she has worked to live with the “waves” of her depression, saying:
“I think that recognizing it as a thing and allowing it to be what it is has definitely helped with getting better or at least dealing with it as it comes in those waves, those ups and downs.”
What has got her to this point though? She shared that a therapist has helped her to have “unbiased” conversations about her mental health, explaining:
“[My depression] was probably always there a little bit under the surface, but I would fight against it so hard because I didn’t know what to call it. … Putting a name to it has allowed me to be like, ‘Right, because this isn’t me, it’s separate from me, but it’s there.’”
We applaud Ariana for her honesty on this subject. You can listen to the co-star’s entire candid conversation (below):
[Image via Ariana Madix/Instagram]
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