Dog The Bounty Hunter is finding life without Beth Chapman to be extraordinarily difficult.
The Dog’s Most Wanted star sat down with ET for an intimate chat at his Colorado home earlier this week, where he revealed how hard it’s been to move on in the wake of his wife’s untimely passing.
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Explaining how he still hasn’t fully accepted his new reality, the reality TV star said:
“I haven’t gotten past the place where I’m [not] putting a pillow where she was and covering it up. And then I wake up in the middle of the night and I see her and it doesn’t register that [it] ain’t her. I’m still there.”
Unsurprisingly, the famed bounty hunter has been having trouble sleeping without his wife by his side. He added:
“I wake up to always touch her, especially when she was sick. I’d have to wake up a few times when she stopped breathing. I couldn’t hear it no more. And she’s laying and I’m like, ‘You are not dying like that. I will not let you die.’ So I’m so used to that that I don’t sleep solid anymore.”
Heartbreaking.
The lack of sleep has also taken a toll on Dog’s (real name Duane Chapman) health, as he revealed he has no appetite and lost “17 pounds in two weeks,” adding:
“I can’t eat. Two bites, I’m full. I got to force feed myself like I force fed her.”
Losing his beloved to cancer has affected the reality star in many small ways, too.
For instance, Beth would always help him read the menu at restaurants because the lighting would be so dim — but, without her, he “can’t see the freakin’ menu.”
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He continued:
“I would go, ‘What do I want today, honey?’ and she would name two things. I never ordered…I’m having a hard time ordering food. I’ve lost 17 pounds. Chewing ice helps, and I’ve lost 17 pounds in about two weeks.”
While Dog is clearly going through a tough time, he did admit losing Beth has given him “a whole new look on life,” noting:
“People would say I lived a long and great life, sometimes a hard life.”
And while he’s had no suicidal thoughts, the 66-year-old said he’s definitely “ready” to join his wife wherever she is. He explained:
“Well, of course. I said, ‘You beat me to this.'”
But until then, he’s using his painful experience to aid and connect with others who have also experienced a big loss:
“I went through experiences to help others — I really mean this. The other day I met [a guy]. He goes, ‘Dog, you know I love you. I’m sorry, I lost my wife six months ago,’ and I hugged him and I felt a connection like, boom, instantly brotherhood, right. So when you go through something and somebody else [goes through the same thing], there’s something there. That’s why I’m going through it, but I use that thing that’s bad to help me help others.”
Wherever she is, we’re sure Beth is proud of her husband.
[Image via Beth Chapman/Instagram/WENN]
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