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Anne Heche Thinks Her Ex Is A Lazy Ass; We Think She Is A Dumb Ass

| Filed under: Anne Heche

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Anne Heche held nothing back yesterday when she visited David Letterman and let the world know what she really thought of her ex-girlfriend Ellen ex-husband Coley Laffoon.

Sarcasm was most definitely her friend as she happily labeled Coley a "lazy ass" and when asked what he does for a living these days, she replied: "He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, 'Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!' "

That's one way to make of living. Plus, that might be his routine now, but as we've learned in the past, after Anne Heche breaks your heart, a lucrative & successful career hosting daytime TV and Covergirl commercials is bound to follow. Coley just needs to bide his time.

And as if she should give marriage advice to anyone, Anne left her audience with this last little nugget of wisdom: "Don't get married. Forever engaged is a wonderful romantic thing to do."

Plus, it saves you tons of money you don't have because you have no career left or a lawyer.

Oh, Anne. Shut it!

[Image via WENN.]

She Gave Birth! Anne Heche's Baby Has Impeccable Timing

| Filed under: Baby BlabberAnne Heche

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Anne Heche has finally popped!

The freshly divorced "actress" gave birth to her second son this weekend, a baby boy named Atlas.

This is Heche's first child with current beau, Z-list actor James Tupper, as her 7-year-old son Homer has a different babydaddy!

Heche's divorce with Homer's dad, ex-husband Coley Laffoon was finalized only this week!!

Perfect timing, wouldn't you say??

Congrats on the new addition to the household, you two!

[Image via WENN.]

The Bitter Divorce Is Over

| Filed under: Legal MattersLove LineAnne Heche

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Good news for adulterous Anne Heche. The "actress" is now officially divorced from her douche of an ex, Coley Lafoon.

Remember, he was the one claiming he needed $15,000 a month for child support. Cuz, you know, he can't get a job for himself!

Well, finally, after applying for divorce back in 2007 after about six years of marriage, a Los Angeles judge has finalized their divorce.

As for the final custody agreements, the former couple will share 50-50 physical and legal custody of their 7-year-old son, Homer.

And money-hungry Coley did pretty well! He waived his rights to claim spousal support, thankfully, but will instead get $3,700 in monthly child support, half of all their communal assets, including a lump cash payment of $515,000, and over $700,000 worth of stocks.

Who knew those two even had that kind of money!

As for Heche, she'll get to keep their multimillion-dollar house in Vancouver.

And let's hope Heche, who's currently preggers with her actor boyfriend James Tupper, doesn't decide to get married again anytime soon.

That'll likely end in failure too!

[Image via WENN.]

Heche Is Preggers

| Filed under: Baby BlabberLove LineAnne Heche

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Anne Heche has done it again.

The "actress" is sperminated. This time, it's with her current boyfriend, fellow actor James Tupper.

Anne met Tupper back in 2006 on their shitty show Men In Trees. The two hooked up while they were both married!

In an interview last year, Tupper had said "In that friendship, we kind of discovered we saw the world in a somewhat similar way. I think we both made decisions that were based on the relationships we were in."

You mean, you're both cheaters?

Shortly after Heche announced her split with douchebag Coley Laffoon, she and Tupper made it public.

Tupper has said, "I wish people could meet her in person. She has such a sparkle and such a love for people, and she works so hard. She is so dedicated to all the good things."

As for Heche, she said last week that she's so happy they can be open about their relationship. Adding, "We're so much more comfortable now that our feelings are exposed and everybody knows about them."

And as for the current pregnancy, their rep says "They are thrilled."

Let's just hope if Heche marries this guy, she gets a strong pre-nup.

Doubt she wants to be paying another loser alimoney and child support!

[Image via WENN.]

He's Gonna Have To Get A Job!

| Filed under: Anne Heche

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Anne Heche's ex-husband, Coley Laffoon, didn't get as big a payday as he would have probably hoped for.

The pair's acrimonious divorce was finally settled on Friday and the actress has been ordered to pay him a lump sum of $275,000.

Heche has also been ordered to pay monthly child support payments of $3,700.

Annie has previously balked at having to pay $15k a month, claiming she's out of work and broke.

So how's she gonna come up with the $275k????????

[Image via Celebrity Babylon.]

Gimme More (Money)!

| Filed under: Baby BlabberCelebrity FeudsLegal MattersAnne Heche

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How do we say this delicately????

Dude, get a job!

$15,000 may seem like a lot of money to most people, but not Cooley Lafoon. That's how much Anne Heche's ex-husband gets a month from the star in child support and now he wants more.

$22,604 a month to be exact!

Lafoon, who hasn't worked since 2000, alleges that since the sale of the former couple's home in Los Angeles in September, his cost of living has increased.

In his court filing, Coley, who was married for five years to the TV star, claims that his "lifestyle during the marriage was much higher."

These days, he's slumming it!

Poor Lafoon (and son Homer, 5) have to rough it in a $4200 a month rental, dine on a mere $2,000 of groceries a month, and make do with a measly $1500 a month to spend on clothes. Egads!!

Coley's lawyer has also requested that Heche pay for his client's legal fees.

Such a demanding little bitch!

Lafoon should take a few lessons from K-Fed!

[Image via Celebrity Babylon.]

You Need To Get Your Brain Checked, Says A Judge!

| Filed under: Legal MattersAnne Heche

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The bitter divorce between Anne Schizo Heche and Coley Bafoon just took a wonderfully wacky new turn.

The tempestuous twosome have both agreed to be evaluated by an independent psychotherapist in order to sort out the issue of custody of their son Homer, CelebTV is reporting exclusively.

One section of the documents, signed by Laffoon’s attorney on July 16 and by Heche on July 25, specify that any information that could be inflame either party will initially remain between the psychotherapist and the court.

Anne Heche actually agreed to take a crazy test?

Bitch is even crazier than we thought! She's going to fail with flying colors.

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[Image via Celebrity Babylon.]