Never claim expertise in a subject you know nothing about!!!!

It would be like Jennifer Love Hewitt writing a book about relationships!

Unfortunately, people don't always follow our advice!!!!!

The Ghost Whisperer wacktress, who recently called off her engagement, will pen a new book, The Day I Shot Cupid, which "explores the new landscape of modern dating and offers up a wide range of practical tips, from text-flirting and IM-ing to what men and women really want, and how to start over after a breakup."

We can just imagine her words of wisdom!!!!!!

How to start over after a break up:
Date the closest person next to you and go public ASAP.

How to get married:
Bully your significant other with ultimatums.

The "author," who has dated famed douchebags including, John Mayer, Joey Lawrence, Carson Daly, Ross McCall and now Jamie Kennedy, will most likely promote the crap out of this book when it hits stores next year!!!

Disaster!

[Image via WENN.]

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No, that isn't Jamie Kennedy's ailing grandmother.

That's Jennifer Love Hewitt! For real.

Look at her!

In a possible combination of the paparazzi camera flashes, the horrid blonde dye job, and the 99-cent makeup, J. Love Desperate looks about ready for the nursing home!

The lovers are currently in London and were shot leaving the Soho Hotel to go for a meal at J Sheekly Oyster Bar. Our guess is they were trying to catch the Early Bird Special!

Damn!

And she was #10 on the Maxim Hot 100 this year!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Jaime Kennedy showed up to the Johnjay & Rich radio show yesterday to speak with its hosts, and guess who showed up with him like a lost puppy? His super clingy size 2 girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt, of course!

J. Love ends up doing most of the talking, delivering an engagement ultimatum for this time next year (Care to make this interesting?).

Love also recalls her Carrie Underwood snub, in which Underwood fled from an over-zealous Hewitt.

She probably had no idea who Size 2 is!

Have a listen to all the desperation below!

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Jennifer Love Desperate ain't fading into irrelevancy without a fight!

According to boyfriend Jamie Kennedy, Miss Size 2 is considering the failed Jessica Simpson approach and is currently working on a country album.

Though Desperate has dabbled in music before, she hasn't released anything since 2002.

But we guess she needs something to supplement her bedazzling career.

Good luck with all your endeavors, Love! Your only a season or two away from Dancing With the Stars!

[Image via WENN.]

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In what seems a little lemonade stand sale to us, Jennifer Love Hewitt has started bedazzling shirts to sell at boyfriend Jamie Kennedy's standup merchandise table when he performs at comedy clubs!

Not only that, but Hewitt works the merch booth as well, peddling Kennedy's DVDs and sparkly t-shirts.

Then Kennedy pays her back with Pinkberry.

Well, at least it's a job!

[Image via WENN.]

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Maxim has unveiled their Hot 100 List and it is riddled with scorch!

Beauties such as Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, and Katy Perry all graced the list, but who was number one?

That would be Olivia Wilde!

The TV doctor won't make House calls, but she does get tempatures rising. She is insanely gorgeous!

Topping off the top ten:

2. Megan Fox

3. Bar Refaeli

4. Malin Akerman

5. Mila Kunis

6. Eliza Dushku

7. Adriana Lima

8. Rihanna

9. Jordana Brewster

10. Jennifer Love Hewitt Desperate

Keeping it fiercely hot ladies!

[Image via WENN.]

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Jennifer "Size 2" Love Hewitt (nee Desperate) was spotted getting hot and heavy with her new beau Jamie Kennedy at 14th Annual Gen Art Film Festival after party Tuesday night.

An eyewitness said that the couple was boozing it up in a corner and that Jamie "kept stroking her leg. She was smiling and laughing."

J. Love should have just worn a light up sign on her forehead that said LOOK AT ME!!!

And maybe Size 2 ain't the only desperate one. Jamie apparently told In Touch that "When you meet the person that you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, it becomes very clear, very quickly!"

Ugh, gag us with a Rickey Schroder's silver spoon!

[Image via WENN.]

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We're guessing not even being hospitalized will get Jamie Kennedy sick of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

The comedian is apparently still together with Desperate, we're guessing because he's equally desp these days!

The two even went shopping together yesterday in Los Angeles. However, by the looks of things, it seems Kennedy was a bit embarrassed to be spotted with J. Lo Desperada.

Kennedyp hid his face underneath his hoodie as soon as they were spotted by the paps

Don't worry Jamie, we'd be embarrassed too!

[Image via National Photo Group.]

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She makes us sick too!

Jamie Kennedy and fellow Z-lister Jennifer Love Hewitt confirmed they were a couple this month. Because they figured the whole world cares to know.

The two lovebirds headed over to Mexico last week to spend some time together and stage some "candid" paparazzi pics. But things didn't end up so well for Kennedy!

Turns out he got sick. And, unfortunately, not sick of Jennifer, but seriously sick and had to be rushed to the hospital.

A source reveals that on Tuesday, while the two were vacationing, Jamie started suffering from kidney stones. The two then headed back to Los Angeles Wednesday morning and Kennedy went straight to the hospital.

The source adds, "He had comedy shows scheduled in Boston, but he canceled them because of his kidney stones. He felt better later in the day and went home, but on Thursday he started hurting again and he went back to the hospital."

Somehow we blame the kidney stones on Love Hewitt. You know it's her fault one way or the other!

As for Kennedy, the source says "He's just home and feeling better" at the moment. Though with J. Love Desperate around, we're not sure that will last.

[Image via National Photo Group.]

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