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Cashier Charged With Attempted Murder After Allegedly Trying To Flush Her Newborn Baby Down The Toilet At McDonald's

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We officially give up on 2017.

A McDonald's cashier in Redwood City, California is facing an attempted murder charge after she allegedly tried to flush her newborn baby boy down a toilet after giving birth in one of the fast food restaurant's bathroom stalls.

According to reports, 25-year-old Sarah Lockner was working the evening of September 4 when she visited the restroom several times, complaining of stomach pain.

After a growing concern for Lockner, a co-worker went to check on the woman, only to find a pool of blood on the floor. Lockner brushed off the mess as a heavy period.

Related: Floyd Mayweather Jr. Calls Trump A 'Real Man' For Pussy-Grabbing Comments!

Prosecutors said it wasn't until another employee went to assess the situation that they "saw a newborn baby face down in toilet bowl":

"The employee stood up to look above the stall and saw a newborn baby in the toilet with her hand on his back, pushing him down into the toilet water."

The baby is alive and in stable condition, despite having no breath or pulse upon police arrival. The extent of brain damage is unknown at this time.

Lockner — who says she did not know she was pregnant — has been charged with felony child abuse, inflicting great bodily injury, and attempted murder. She is being held on $11 million bail and will be arraigned on September 18.

What a terribly startling story. Sending all the love in the world to that precious child.

[Image via Redwood City Police.]

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McDonald's Pulls Grieving Child Ad After Catching Big Flack On Twitter! See The Angry Responses!

McDonald's removes grieving boy ad.

Advertising companies just keep taking L's.

McDonald's has apologized and removed an ad about a grieving boy, after a barrage of criticism and over a hundred complaints filed to Britain's Advertising Standards Authority.

Related: Wonder Woman Is Promoting Diet Bars Now???

People found the commercial, which ran exclusively in the U.K., objectionable because they believed it exploited the child's grief about his dead father.

The ASA told the Washington Post:

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Teen Dies From Caffeine OD — See What He Drank Before His Death

Filed under: Sad SadTeensHealthScary!

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OMG, this can happen??

South Carolina teen Davis Allen Cripe collapsed and died mysteriously last month, but now at last Richland County coroner Gary Watts has an answer.

And it's a shocking one.

Related: College Just Banned Energy Drinks Because They Lead To Sex!

Watts says the 16-year-old died from a heart arrhythmia caused by an overdose of caffeine!

In a news conference on Monday, the doctor said that in the two hours before his death, Davis drank

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Hell Hath Frozen Over — Gwyneth Paltrow Sort Of Promotes Fast Food!

Filed under: Gwyneth PaltrowFast Food

Gwyneth Paltrow promotes fast food, sort of.

The queen of clean eating is promoting a fast food guide??? Now we've seen it all!

Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop minions are in fact helping us plebes out when it comes to fast food with their very own guide on the healthiest options to eat at each popular joint.

Related: Gwynnie Wants You To Go Barefoot

We make fun, but it might be surprising to find that there are some pretty healthy options at your favorite spot! The top picks by Goop are Wendy's, Panda Express, and Chipotle, where you can get the Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad, brown rice and steamed veggies, and a salad bowl, respectively.

Of course they also recommend to always skip the dairy and dressing. OBVI!

Next on the list are McDonald's, Domino's, and Taco Bell, where you can opt for the lettuce wrapped grilled chicken burger, a veggie pizza with gluten crust, and the black bean burrito or power veggie bowl.

Things get really tricky at Arby's, KFC, and Dunkin' Donuts, where healthy options are slim. But you can make do with the cole slaw and sweet corn at KFC, the farmhouse salad with turkey at Arby's, and the oatmeal and egg white patty omelet at Dunkin'.

Check out the full list HERE!

[Image via WENN.]

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McDonald's Holiday Coffee Cups Cause A New Kind Of Controversy — Because They Look Like Spread Ass Cheeks!

Filed under: Oops!Business BlitzHolidazeFoodSkinFast FoodButtz

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You will never ever EVER be able to unsee this.

It turns out McDonald's has a holiday coffee cup controversy of their own. The fast food chain's new McCafé design features white mittens overlapping on top of a red background with snowflakes, stars, and hearts.

Related: The Starbucks Holiday Cup Is Ugly AF!

However, author Sam Sykes astutely pointed out that the design is MUCH less family friendly.

On Saturday, the writer took to Twitter to declare the image actually appears to show a person spreading their ass cheeks, captioning a photo of the cup:

"Now how the hell are Starbucks cups in the news again and no one's talking about a guy spreading his cheeks open on McDonald's cups"

And to prove this point, he shared a viral photo in which one customer simply drew two squiggles to transform the mittens' thumbs into the hands performing said cheek-spreading (below):

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Man Films Himself Having Sex With A McDonald's McChicken Sandwich And The Internet Loses Its McMind!

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Sometimes, the Internet is a very scary place.

This morning, you might have noticed "McChicken" trending on Twitter — but hopefully, for your own sake, you didn't investigate further.

That's because the McDonald's fare was only trending due to a viral video that was posted showing a man having SEX with one of the sandwiches.

Can't even make this stuff up…

Related: Mariah Carey's Billboards BANNED For Too Much Boobage!

The video is WILD.

A man, who never reveals his face, is shown quite literally copulating with the mayonnaise-covered, bread-and-fried-chicken goodness that is one of McD's sandwich offerings.

Here's a censored (but still totally NSFW) screen grab of the, uh, incident:

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You Won't BELIEVE What This Olympian Is Eating At McDonald's Now That His Games Are Done!

Filed under: AustraliasticZportzFitnessFoodFast FoodOlympicsAmazingCrazzzzyFood PornViral: News

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Because everybody deserves a day off, right?!

Australian badminton player Sawan Serasinghe is finished with competition at the Rio Olympics, and now that he's free to do as he pleases in the Olympic Village, he is going WAY over the top on finally pigging out after months of grueling training!

Related: Hope Solo Gets Booed By Rio Crowd Over Zika Tweets!

The six-pack-abbed athlete, who lost a badminton men's doubles match on Saturday and was eliminated from the Games, posted to Facebook that he was going to enjoy his suddenly open schedule, starting with some McDonald's.

He shared the picture (above), writing:

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