Reality television almost ruined Jill Duggar Dillard’s marriage to husband Derick Dillard!
As you know, the 32-year-old starred alongside her family on the TLC shows 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On for years. When Derick came into her life, he began working with Jill on the series. But as it turns out, the two shared in their upcoming book Counting the Cost that they wanted out of the show once they married in 2014!
Of course, that didn’t happen. Despite the couple no longer wanting to do reality television, Derick and Jill continued to have the cameras in their lives for three more years. Why is that? The former television personality felt obligated to stay on due to her parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar.
She wrote in the book:
“It began to feel like a burden.”
In fact, the decision to continue with the series had negatively impacted her life to the point where it caused some major problems in her relationship with Derick. Jill explained to People on Wednesday:
“It caused a lot of frustration in our marriage. Especially early on, where he would feel a certain way about filming something. I’d be like, ‘I hear you, I feel you, I also don’t want to do whatever it is they’re asking us to do either. But we have to.’”
After being raised to honor her parents and do what they say through the teachings of the Institute in Basic Life Principles all her life, Jill felt like she could not say no to Jim Bob and the grueling filming schedule. No matter how much she wanted to quit, she couldn’t go against her dad’s wishes.
This ended up causing fights between her and Derick:
“It definitely got between us. No matter your age, you are to obey your parents wishes and you even have to ask them for their blessing for any major moment in your life. That could be buying a house, moving to a different state, where to go to school. We were dealing with this a lot when we were trying to make decisions for our family, and we were really wrestling back and forth with it.”
But it wasn’t just the show driving a wedge between them. Jim Bob also had been a big reason for their problems. Jill claimed he purposefully caused turmoil in their relationship in order to get what he wanted when it came to filming. Agreeing with his wife, Derick explained to the outlet:
“Whenever we were at odds with what her dad thought we should be doing with filming, he would say things that would be very damaging. He would weaponize the relationship and say, ‘Is this you Jill, or is this you, Derek? Are you leading your wife astray and doing things that are not supportive of marriage?’ And I think that was a red flag.”
So scummy of him! Making matters worse, the couple were basically working for free while being forced to do the original and spin-off series! Jill previously revealed she, Derick, and her sister Jessa didn’t see a single penny for a long time since their parents were pocketing their cash.
It’s no wonder these two were arguing all the time if this was how they were being treated! Jill went on to tell People that things between her and Derick became extremely strained in their marriage. And it wasn’t until one huge argument over the show that she realized something needed to change:
“I saw how deeply we were in an argument one time, and I was like, ‘Whoa, this is not OK.’ When I saw how it was affecting our marriage, I think that was another wake-up call for me. It was like, ‘OK, we need to either fight this battle together, or it’s going to rip us apart.’ So, yeah, we had to join forces at that point.”
Fortunately, they are now in a better place when it comes to their marriage since stepping away from the spotlight.
“Therapy was the gift we didn’t know we needed. We initially went into it with the goal of re-establishing a relationship with my parents, but once we go there, the therapist was like, ‘I think we maybe need to do a little more processing, a little more sorting out here. You guys need to figure out who you are.’ Which was so wise. It helped us so much.”
After everything that has come out about Jim Bob, no one would blame Derick and Jill for keeping their distance from him!
In response, he and Michelle declined to comment on the pair’s claims. However, they did leave this statement to People:
“We love all of our children very much. As with any family, few things are more painful than conflicts or problems among those you love… We do not believe the best way to resolve conflicts, facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, or to communicate through difficulties is through the media or in a public forum so we will not comment.”
We cannot say we’re surprised by that reaction from them.
Thoughts on what Jill and Derick had to say, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments below.