We think it is time John Mayer went back into the studio. We think he might be a little bored or something.
John is in New York right now and last night, he was spotted celebrating a friend's b-day at Club CV. Witnesses watched as John thoroughly enjoy himself, drinking beer and "celebrating" the way only the former lover of sexual napalm can.
Then, the beer inspired his impulsive side, so he took to his Twitter to tell his "fans" that he would be performing a impromptu gig at New York's Village Underground at 3 a.m. Two hours later, John was making a fool out of himself, singing and dancing in the streets of Manhattan for a group of passerbys.
Hey, remember when you used to play venues like Radio City Music Hall? And, you know, you got paid to perform?
There was a situation backstage at the CMT Awards last night. John Mayer decided he was fit enough to show the world the briar patch growing on his stomach, while Mike "The Situation" from Jersey Shore proved him wrong with his legendary abs.
Yuck, John! Yucky, yucky yuck!
If your pants were any tighter, we would have a furry muffin top on our hands!
This morning, John Mayer's team announced that the douchey singer wouldn't be finishing his European tour as he fell victim to a "mysterious illness."
We were genuinely concerned. We thought he was actually very ill. Then we heard what his affliction was…
Yeah, that's right! That's all! Doesn't that just stink???
Sources are reporting that John allegedly fled from his tour due to a case of food poisoning. Supposedly, John spent the night on the john after he ate something nasty at the catering table in Copenhagen. This "intestinal illness" was allegedly painful enough for John to request to return home!
Do they not have Pepto-Bismol in Denmark? If we were his tour promoters, we'd be pissed at his shiz! That's a lot of a money lost over the squirts!
Sources are reporting that due to a "mystery illness", John Mayer has had to scrap his upcoming European tour.
John seemed alright when he performed over the weekend in Copenhagen, Denmark, but according to his doctors, he suddenly fell ill and is being immediately transported back to the states. A statement was released via his website, saying:
"After a sold-out performance in Copenhagen, John Mayer was forced to cancel his second show there… due to illness. Regrettably, the illness has caused his remaining European shows scheduled through this week to be canceled as well (Amsterdam, Madrid and Manchester).
Mayer is returning home to the States and a full recovery is expected under a doctor’s supervision."
Wow! What could be going on?
We've had our differences with the guy, but we hope it's not that serious!
Jake Gyllenhaal is in Italy right now, but his clothes are NOT! Cameras caught the charming A-lister buck naked -- he was running around Italy with his Donnie Darko dangling down between his legs!
Ciao? More like chow -- who wouldn't love to chow down on that spicy Italian sausage?!
The 31-year-old heartthrob is filming Everest right now and apparently the scene required that he drop trou and whip out his Jarhead! Whoa!!! We don't care if it winds up bombing at the box office, we just can't believe they convinced him to strip all the way down to his Source Code!!
This just became our favorite movie ever!!!
Ready to see the End of Watch star's marvelous bit of manhood in all of its UNCENSORED glory?
Ch-ch-check out the Peen of Persia for yourself...AFTER THE JUMP!!!