Couple Caught Pleasuring Themselves In Theater! How They Reacted Once Confronted Adds Insult To Injury!

We do not give this a standing ovation.
As most of us know, tickets to Book of Mormon do not run cheap. Last time we checked, if you wanted a ticket, you’d basically have to take out a second mortgage. Or sell your firstborn. One of the two.
Knowing this, it makes us especially annoyed to hear that a couple would take this precious time at the theater to fingerbang and over-the-pants-hand-job each other like there was no tomorrow, or even an intermission!
A stunning and hilarious musical production be damned, they HAD to ejaculate then and there!
That’s right, according to a recently posted anonymous story featured in a column in a Seattle newspaper, one such theatergoer alleged that his seat neighbors got handsy:

“To the couple sitting next to me during Aug 1’s performance of Book of Mormon: Theater etiquette is not always easy to grasp but to finger your girlfriend during a live show is actually frowned upon, as is the amorous penis-rubbing return gesture on the part of your girlfriend. Also, when your neighbor (close enough to feel your arm muscles wriggling in your amorous attempts) asks you to please not insert your finger into your girlfriend’s vagina while watching a musical, the proper response is generally thought to not be an aggressive belch in the face of the person making the request. Apparently these etiquette guidelines are not universally acknowledged.”

Ew, this is not what they mean by entering and exiting.
We hope they did a good clean up job after that night. We bet they had to pick up more than just Playbills from the seats.