Whoever makes the biopic about the Donald Trump presidency is going to have a problem — some of the truth is too far-fetched even for a movie!
This story is one of the most ludicrous; and ironically it’s about a movie.
Trump’s entire argument behind the stupid wall is the border crisis. In his xenophobic rhetoric, immigrants are pouring into our southern border and causing tons of crime.
The thing is, there isn’t a crisis (apart from the one Trump is causing). It’s all made up.
Related: Is Melania Trump Happy??
Trump has been throwing out examples of the horrific crime that makes now so different — because, you know, we have border security. We’ve never needed a giant stupid wall before.
Every time he describes what’s going on, every expert in the field points out how it’s not true and they have no idea where he got that information.
Now people have finally put the pieces together where all the nonsense is coming from:
Sicario: Day of the Soldado.
We wish we were joking. But everything he keeps saying has no basis in reality, but it DOES appear in the Benicio Del Toro sequel. Moreover, it appears in the TRAILER.
Just look at these examples…
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Vehicles
WATCH: Trump argues that we need a border wall to stop migrants just driving right across in their "unbelievable vehicles… stronger, bigger, and faster vehicles than our police have, than ICE has" pic.twitter.com/b04eEKuL0I
— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) January 9, 2019
“They have the best vehicles you can buy. They have stronger, bigger and faster vehicles than our police have and than ICE has, and the Border Patrol have.”
Huh?
The Washington Post asked Customs and found out the vehicles impounded over the past year had a median value of $2,500 and were on average 15 years old. They are whatever old pieces of crap these people can get their hands on.
However, in the Sicario trailer:
Totally awesome armored cars that tear the cops to shreds.
Prayer Rugs
Border rancher: “We’ve found prayer rugs out here. It’s unreal.” Washington Examiner People coming across the Southern Border from many countries, some of which would be a big surprise.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 18, 2019
In case you didn’t catch what Trump was slinging there, he’s saying Muslims are coming up through the Mexican border. For these racists, you say “prayer rug” you may as well be saying the word “terrorist.”
Oh wait, the White House actually DID claim terrorists were being caught coming in through the Southern border — and were called out by Fox News of all places.
It’s just not true. But in the Sicario trailer:
Yeah…
Duct Tape
Most recently Trump has begun scaring his base with tales of human traffickers grabbing women and duct taping their mouths.
In his speech about ending his government shutdown last week, he once again rambled:
“Women are tied up, they’re bound, duct tape put around their faces, around their mouths. In many cases, they can’t even breathe. They’re put in the backs of cars or vans or trucks.”
Apparently that was the 10th time he’d referenced women’s mouths being duct taped during the shutdown.
But that struck some ears of people who work in the area of human trafficking — as they’ve never heard of women being duct-taped.
Evangeline Chan, director of the Immigration Law Project at Safe Horizon, told the Washington Post:
“His representation of how traffickers get their victims into the country just isn’t what we’re seeing.”
Human trafficking is real. The duct tape detail is not.
However, in the trailer:
WTF is going on??
Explanation
Trump doesn’t even watch movies. So there’s no way he saw this movie and is getting it confused with reality, right? But this can’t just be a coincidence either.
Here’s our best guess…
Two things we know about Trump from all the inside reports:
- He can’t read briefings or even sit still long enough to listen to briefings. Insiders have claimed they throw in pictures and also his name throughout their reports in order to keep his attention.
- He doesn’t stick to the script. He gets off topic in speeches and makes it up as he goes along, even when it comes to facts and figures.
So here’s what we think happened:
Trump’s team gave him crime statistics to try to sell his wall. He couldn’t follow them.
They gave him anecdotes. He couldn’t remember them.
How to give him an idea of what to say to scare people? They showed him the two minute trailer to the underseen Sicario sequel.
It’s a wild theory, but holy crap — what other explanation is there??
[Image via CBS/WENN/Columbia Pictures/YouTube.]
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