When Jennifer Lawrence was still a rising superstar, one of the things people always said they loved about her was how down to earth she seemed when not giving devastatingly good performances in blockbusters.
Her wedding is… not exactly on brand…
The Hunger Games star is reportedly getting married this weekend, and like many brides she’s going all out and downright fancy for her special day.
According to TMZ, who got hold of the wedding menu, Jen, groom Cooke Maroney, and about 150 guests at the Rhode Island ceremony will be dining on some of the most ornate, sumptuous sounding dishes we’ve ever heard of.
Related: Why People Think J.Law Is Already Married
A lot of it sounds delicious, but it’s not exactly home cookin’ from Kentucky if you know what we mean.
Let’s start, as one does, with the hors d’oeuvres:
- sweet potato flat cakes
- brussels sprouts with cured egg yolk
- smoked pork belly with pickled apple
- salt cod beignets
OK, smoked pork belly actually *does* sound like Kentucky cuisine. But salt cod beignet?? What even is that? Who looks at the world’s most perfect, Platonic ideal of a donut and thinks, “You know what that needs? Fish. Salted fish.”
Are we being close-minded here? Or is the something borrowed going to have to be a barf bag?
In case you’re more intrigued than icked out, here’s what the salt cod beignets look like at Shaker and Spear in Seattle.
Yeah, apparently these are a thing.
Doesn’t look like a beignet. No powdered sugar in sight. It’s not even flaky. But OK. We’d try that we guess.
As for the main course, guests have two options:
- wood-roasted fish with herbs and lemon-infused butter
- 5-week-aged leg of beef with forager’s sauce.
Is it just us or does it sometimes seem like wedding chefs get paid by the letter?
But yeah, either of those sound pretty tasty. And you can apparently wash that down with cocktails or:
- gin cucumber lavender champagne
Yeah, see, that’s too many words together…
Now, on to the dessert — for which there are actually FOUR options (We guess five if you count the wedding cake.):
- fire-baked sourdough bread pudding with chocolate
- salted caramel and fresh apple
- cauldron fritters with bourbon cream and cinnamon sugar
- house-made marshmallow s’mores
Finally! Something we know how to make!
Three of those sound delectable. We’re not sure about using sourdough for bread pudding, seems more like a honey wheat or challah situation, but otherwise yum!
The menu may be a leak, but the gifts are public information. Back in September Jen made herself a little more “cauldron fritters” money (as we say in the biz) by doing a collab with Amazon.com in which she posted her entire wedding registry on the site. She shared:
“Planning a wedding is so exciting, but it can be overwhelming. For anyone else needing a little inspiration, I thought it would be fun to collaborate with Amazon to share a few of my favorite registry wish-list items. It’s so easy, and you can find everything you need all in one place.”
You have to pay for all those salt cod beignets somehow!
(She later told CNN in a statement she was donating part of the proceeds from her collab to Amazon Conservation, which is working to protect the Amazon rainforest.)
What do YOU think of J.Law’s fancy ass wedding menu??
[Image via Derrick Salters/WENN/Dads That Cook/MyRecipes/YouTube.]
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