Kim Kardashian Seeks 'Total Happiness' Amid Kanye West Divorce As KUWTK Ends Its 20-Season TV Run

Just like that, the end of an era is truly upon us!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians ended for good on E! after 20 seasons of great reality TV with Thursday night’s series finale episode. And in it, we saw deeper into the emotional divide between Kim Kardashian and Kanye West on their road to divorce.

After speaking to Kris Jenner about how she was going to see a therapist in order to “work on myself” amid her spit from the Chicago-born rapper, Kim came to a realization that she “just wants total happiness” in her life. Reflecting on how unhappy she’s been at times with Yeezy and where she wants to go in her life from here, the KKW Beauty founder said to the cameras in a confessional (below):

“I know obviously complete bliss is like, not a full reality, but if I can have it more of the majority of the time, that’s all I want to do, wherever that takes me. I just want my pure happiness, so that’s what I’m working on figuring out how to get there. I just feel like I’ve worked so hard in life to achieve everything that I’ve wanted to, and I’ve lived up to my expectations and achieved 10 times more than I even thought was humanly possible. But I don’t have a life to share that with. Like, I do — obviously my kids and everything — but am I just gonna sit here and think, ‘Okay, my kids fulfill me, and I’m good?'”

Big life questions, indeed.

Kim also opened up about when she first realized the rift between her and the 43-year-old rapper was unfixable. Realizing what life was like with Kanye constantly away on his own at the family’s Wyoming ranch, Kim got very real about what she wants in a partner in order to feel satisfied:

“I never thought I was lonely … I always thought that’s totally fine, I could just have my kids, my husband moves from state to state. And I just am on this ride with him, and I was okay with that and then after turning 40 this year, I realized like, ‘No, I don’t want a husband that lives in a completely different state to me.’ I thought, ‘Oh my God, that’s when we’re getting along the best,’ but then that is sad to me, and that’s not what I want. I want someone that we have the same shows in common. I want someone that wants to work out with me every single day … the little things are what I don’t have. I have all the big things. I have the extravagant, everything you could possibly imagine – and no one will ever do it like that, I know that, you know what I mean? And I’m grateful for those experiences – but I think I’m ready for the smaller experiences that I think will mean a lot.”

Wow!

The momma of four was really baring her soul in this episode. And she’s not wrong, either! Those smaller experiences often mean the world even more so than the extravagant stuff — even if one was a hologram of your late father. Ultimately, the 65-year-old momager was able to relate and commiserate with her second-oldest daughter. Kris told her the family simply wants her “to be happy and joyful” after suffering with this for “a really long time.”

Tearing up, Kris said in a confessional:

“It breaks my heart because I just want them to be happy. And I want her to be joyful, and have the best relationship that she can possibly have. And she has four beautiful kids. So I just want them to be happy.”

This must be so tough for a mother to go through — such a helpless feeling trying to comfort a daughter in a flailing marriage, especially when this was her third shot at happily ever after.

Ultimately, though, Kim was still able to look at things on the bright side.

At the end of it all, she counseled Kris to wipe away her tears, saying:

“Don’t cry. There is so much to be happy about! I’m not like, gonna have a breakdown and cry when you leave. I’m numb like, I’m tired of that, but I do know that I will be happy. I didn’t come this far just to come this far, and not be happy.”

The close of the episode also included a particularly touching moment, with the entire family gathering together to bury a time capsule in honor of the show. Mementos include a “Lord Disick” cape from Scott Disick, Kim’s first fragrance, Kylie Jenner‘s first lip kit, a framed photo of the home they started filming in 20 seasons ago, and a copy of Kris’ official “momager’ certificate.

Our hearts!

Kimmy reflected on the changes she’s undergone in the last 20 seasons, too, and compared that to her current status as a newly-single woman after Kanye. Looking back on her life since KUWTK debuted in 2007, she shared:

“Season 1 Kim, I was so different. Waking up and having a different idea of what happiness looks like is an amazing surprise. I have no regrets. This was like, the best decade and a half of my life. The show has really meant so much to me because I feel like without the hard moments, there’s no growth.”

Amen to that! Well said, as always.

And Kris concluded everything accordingly, adding:

“This is a period in my life that has meant so much to me when I think about season 1 to season 20. Those are my most magical memories. No one knows what tomorrow’s going to bring, but I have a grateful heart for all of our fans and all of our followers who have been so loyal. Thank you. Just thank you.”

Awww!

Loving it!

Ch-ch-check out the recap video of the episode (below):

We’re not crying, you’re crying! And we seriously can’t believe it’s all over!

Well, it’s not technically all over. The Keeping Up with the Kardashians reunion, hosted by Andy Cohen, premieres on June 17 at 8:00 p.m. on E!, of course. And the KarJenners are heading to Hulu to continue their reality TV ways with a new show — one presumably fairly similar to what we’ve seen for 20 seasons on cable TV.

But still! This is a major ending point for the show and the family!

What do U make of the end of KUWTK, Perezcious readers?! Sound OFF with your thoughts and opinions about the family’s 20-season TV run in the comment section (below)!

[Image via KUWTK/YouTube]