We finally got the full story about one of the hardest moments in Britney Spears’ life.
Perezcious readers know the 41-year-old pop sensation dated from 1999 to 2002 when she was 17 years old and he was 18. And in her new memoir The Woman In Me, she dropped a huge bombshell about her relationship — she got knocked up and had an abortion in late 2000.
Looking back, Britney had been excited about starting a family with Justin, even though it happened much sooner than expected. But Justin, on the other hand? He did not want to become a father at their age and thus convinced her to get an abortion was the best option for them. Well, it sounds like more so the best option for him. She wrote:
“I loved Justin so much. I always expected us to have a family together one day. This would just be much earlier than I’d anticipated. But Justin definitely wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren’t ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.”
Related: The View‘s Alyssa Farah Griffin Defends Justin After Britney Abortion Story
But for Britney, if she could have made the decision on her own, she never would have had it done. An abortion most likely wouldn’t have been an option in her mind in the first place due to her religious beliefs and what her family taught her growing up. Although she felt “conflicted” about what to do at the time, she “agreed not to have the baby.” Britney admittedly doesn’t know if she made the “right decision” back then. But what she does know is that it haunts her to this day:
“If it had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it. And yet Justin was so sure that he didn’t want to be a father. To this day, it’s one of the most agonizing things I have ever experienced in my life.”
Oof. We cannot imagine how hard this decision must have been for her. Given her upbringing and being such big stars, it was important for them that no one learned about this pregnancy. Not even her family knew about it! In fact, they didn’t even go to the doctor or hospital to get Britney the proper care during the process! So dangerous! Instead, she ended up taking abortion medication at home. Thankfully, though, Britney wasn’t entirely alone during what was not only an emotionally draining but a physically painful situation for her.
While Justin and Britney went to great lengths to keep the pregnancy and termination a secret, the songstress did tell one person: her longtime former assistant, Felicia Culotta. She recalled:
“It was important that no one find out about the pregnancy or the abortion, which meant doing everything at home. We didn’t even tell my family. The only person who knew besides Justin and me was Felicia [Culotta, Spears’ former assistant], who was always on hand to help me. I was told, ‘It might hurt a little bit, but you’ll be fine.’”
However, it was “a little bit” of pain for her. When Britney decided to take the pills, Felicia and Justin both had been by her side. But their support hadn’t stopped the fact that it had been an “excruciating” process for the Toxic singer, lasting for “hours”:
“On the appointed day, with only Felicia and Justin there, I took the little pills. Soon I started having excruciating cramps. I went into the bathroom and stayed there for hours, lying on the floor, sobbing and screaming.”
She added:
“I kept crying and sobbing until it was all over.”
At one point during the day, Justin joined her in the bathroom. But instead of offering basic comfort, even just a simple hug, he picked up a guitar to serenade her the entire time. No joke. This man started playing music while she was suffering and crying. Britney said:
“Justin came into the bathroom and lay on the floor with me. At some point he thought maybe music would help, so he got his guitar and he lay there with me strumming it.”
Who immediately thinks strumming a guitar would help and support a partner going through such a physically and emotionally difficult process? Jeez. Obviously, his music didn’t help her much. Although Britney doesn’t “remember how it ended” that day, she remembers the “pain” and “fear” from that moment more than two decades later.
So, so sad. She went through all of this so young and with very little support by her side. Our hearts break for Britney. Reactions, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments below.
[Image via The Jonathan Ross Show/The Late Night Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube, WENN]
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