Camila Cabello is getting real.
The pop starlet penned a personal essay in WSJ. Magazine for Mental Health Awareness month and got candid about her own mental health issues, including the surprising reveal that she suffers from OCD.
Related: YouTuber Lele Pons Opens Up About ‘Severe’ OCD
In a classic Instagram vs. reality comparison, Camila admitted how different her life looked like behind the scenes:
“If you look at the pictures I’ve posted on Instagram over the last year, you’ll find pictures of me writing in the studio, pictures in a hallway in a bomb-dot-com outfit before going onstage to perform, pictures of me cuddled up with my dog, Eugene, on a couch, and pictures of me bursting with excitement to play you my music. But here’s what there aren’t pictures of from the last year: me crying in the car talking to my mom about how much anxiety and how many symptoms of OCD I was experiencing. My mom and me in a hotel room reading books about OCD because I was desperate for relief. Me experiencing what felt like constant, unwavering, relentless anxiety that made day-to-day life painfully hard.”
The 23-year-old described withdrawing from loved ones and feeling “at war” with her own mind. She related how her OCD manifested:
“OCD is not how it’s stereotyped, like, She’s so OCD about her desk being organized, etc. OCD can take many different forms, and for me it was obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. To put it simply, it made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me. It affected me physically, too. I couldn’t sleep for a long time, I had a constant knot in my throat, I had chronic headaches, and my body went through what felt like multiple roller-coaster rides every day.”
The Seniorita singer explained that she kept her struggles hidden because she felt “embarrassed and ashamed”. She wrote:
“I didn’t want the people who thought I was strong and capable and confident—the people who most believed in me—to find out that I felt weak. The little voice in my head was telling me that if I was honest about my mental health struggle and my internal battles (i.e. being human), people would think there was something wrong with me, or that I wasn’t strong, or that I couldn’t handle things. That same little voice also told me maybe I was being ungrateful for all the good in my life—and that hiding the open wound I’d been avoiding the last few years was the easiest and fastest solution. But all of that is not the truth. There was something hurting inside me, and I didn’t have the skill to heal it or handle it. In order to heal it, I had to talk about it. Denying my suffering and berating myself didn’t help things. I needed to say those three revolutionary words: I need help.”
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Further explaining to readers, the former Fifth Harmony member says she used cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation and breath work to treat her mental health. She knew she had to take “ownership” of her recovery, writing:
“It also took a lot of self-love (believing I am inherently worthy of happiness, belonging, love and joy, no matter what), self-compassion (not emotionally beating myself up for struggling) and self-awareness (calling myself out on my s–t).”
Now, she says she’s “the healthiest and most connected to myself I’ve ever been”, and “rarely” experiencing the same severity of of OCD symptoms. She concluded:
“For a long time, anxiety felt like it was robbing me of my humor, my joy, my creativity and my trust. But now anxiety and I are good friends. I listen to her, because I know she’s just trying to keep me safe, but I don’t give her too much attention. And I sure as hell don’t let her make any decisions.”
Good for you, Camila!
We’re glad she’s in a good place — and proud of her for raising awareness for mental health!
[Image via Phil Lewis/WENN]
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